Reunion ~ (Friend)

10/11/2012 - Saturday 

     Since we've last met, one year has passed already. So many have changed especially me, I have been through changes throughout this year. Returning to my hometown, Sandakan, how excited was I to look back on my history pages.

     As the plane touched the land that is my hometown, I thought to myself "At long last, I'm home". Fresh and new, I'm home as the same person yet somewhat different. It was vaguely about 6 in the evening yet it's already so dark. How odd it feels compared to West Malaysia. 

     Plans made. Options decided. I'm home to visit the place I love, taste the food I adore and most of all reunite with my precious friends I once disappeared on. My original plan was actually to meet Xiao Thong as the first person once I reached home. Though many things have happened, I've been set free by myself. 

     Saturday morning, I awoke at such early hour. Clearly eager to meet my friend, Xuan Er. Set out by foot to the town, my cousin and I accompanied my grandma for some grocery shopping, breakfast and hair saloon for her haircut. After that, we just waited at the promised location until she arrives. 

     Short hair and with a bright smile, Xuan Er ran across the road with the same features as before. Her ladylike personality and cheerfulness still remains the same, how utterly relived i was. 

     The awkwardness between my cousin and Xuan Er was quickly resolved as she was an easy person to befriend with. Anyways, we wandered the streets of the town just for the sake of sight-seeing and enjoy the moments/company we have together. My cousin kind of just went off to visit my relative as an excuse to escape from our reunion as he has no relations in this reunion.

     Lunch, brought her to 'The Boss 2' or rather she was the one who brought me there. Sitting just directly in front of her, i dare not stare into her eyes as I'm quite a shy person. We ended up sharing our stories of this year that passed by. Chatting while eating and chatting after eating, we just had so much to share with one another.

     Before we planned this reunion, we already promised to have our picture taken together. Being a gentleman, i payed the bill and we both set out to search for a good place to have our pictures taken, I chose the seaside. 

     Unfortunately, it was quite a sunny afternoon. The brightness kind of affects my camera vision, so i'm not sure if i was able to get good shots. We just sat down by the seaside, chat for awhile and head off to Mc'Donald's for dessert.
     Taking pictures in public with a girl, something i do not often experience. It felt like a date, as if we're couples on  a date. Though it's not. :P The two of us have mutual feelings as friends and that's how WE feel things should be. :)
     Accompanying her back to her parents' office, that was the end of our reunion. Standing by the steps of the stairs leading to her parents' office, I just looked at her. I thought to myself "How much longer will it be till we meet again?" I wanted to hug her as I'll miss my dear friend once again but being my usual self, i just gave a little smile and greet goodbye.

Hope we meet again soon, my friend. :)

Words Unspoken : Written

Those words running through your mind,
Those sentences, essays and so on that travels constantly in your mind,
The things you want to SCREAM out to the world,
How do you express them? How do you let them out to the world?

Through your Tongue, Spoken words?
Through your Art, Expressed words?
or
Through your Writings, Written words?

My words, that travels through my mind every single second in my life, my feelings, my desires, my hopes, my dreams and everything that i want to say.
They are through my words, the Written words...
I express my thoughts through my stories written in words,
I express my feelings through my blog written in words,
and so much more i express through words.

Spoken words have always been more powerful. Simpler to reach out to the world.
They are direct and straightforward.
A leader with Spoken words of gold can lead a country through amazing success.

Unlike Written words,
They are much more quiet. It doesn't mean that it is not powerful but it is harder to reach out to the world.
They are indirect and always comes with riddles and questions.
Words to play the mind and make people think, people are just so lazy.
They want everything to be laid out.
A Writer with Written words of gold can touch hearts and also do amazing things

Whenever i start reading story books and novels of my interest,
I always admire the writer,
Their writing style,
Their thoughts,
Their view of the world and how the world is.

I am just an amateur. An aspiring writer to write for self-interest.
I want to learn, how to touch hearts with my words just for the sake of reaching out to people...

Quiet and lonely.
I tend to isolate myself from the world at certain times.
Only words of sadness travel through my mind, those words unexpressed and not to be meant to be shared.
No wonder i'm such a hopeless romantic,
Those words that i want to say, are always in my mind, or else written at some place where nobody can see or know.

I can be an unexceptional speaker if i want to be.
I definitely sound arrogant right now but,
Give me a chance to give my life speech, and you'll be surprised by who i can be.
But who i want to be? That's a different question.


So... how do you express yourself to the world?

Spoken words?
Expressed words?
or
Written words?

My spectacles that represents, what i see through my eyes, not just what's not the outside but occasionally on the inside too where it matters.

Sometimes, i just sit around and start to wonder.
Those 3 girls that really mattered to me throughout my 16 years.
What have i done? What should i have done?
Those questions can endless.

Time. Is it really gold?

As a kid, there comes seasons when,
You play all day long,
You get bullied all the time,
You don't give a damn about anything at all,
You do dumb stuff all the time,
and
You make friends easily all the time?
Time pass by without caring or even noticing, and you turn into a teenager.

As a teenager, there comes season when,
You get stressed out from exams,
Your lazy and wants to do nothing all day,
You just want to suicide because things are so tough,
Your parents are too busy to care for you,
You just want to be free and do whatever you want,
You fall in love,
You get heartbroken,
You meet friends,
You get betrayed,
You experience so many new things that you couldn't cope with,
and so so much more...
Sooner and later, those 7 years of your life goes by, and you turn into a young adult.

Young adult then adult and so on.
Those which i have not been through yet.

I'm in my teenage years and it's already been 4 years since i've started going to 5 years and after that, just 2 more years and i'll become a young adult.
What's awaiting me in the future? How does it look for me?
Good or bad? Bright or dark? Happy or sad? Successful or failure?

I'm excited yet scared.
I can't wait for it yet i don't want to continue this journey.
So many more stories to come yet i'm already fed up with my current stories already.
Is it really worth, staying alive longer, to wait and see something unpredictable to happen?
Is time really gold to me?

Junior's Story : Similar stories from Different views.

Today is the last day of school for the Form 4 students, that means the beginning of the holidays!
Well i didn't attend school today because...it's rather inconvenient for me to do so... :3
Anyways, while i was slacking, online, my junior started chatting with me.

She wanted...advise i guess? >_<
Well for some reasons, girls tend to come to me for advice when they have problems. (not just her)

It started with.
"Urm if you go out with a girl, u think of it as an outing but she thinks of it as a date.. Then one day she asks if it was a date what will u do? How will u answer ><".
and that means.
Girl-boy relationship problems. :3

You see... this guy, her senior. Asked her to go out with him on a movie as a date but she thought of him as a brotherly figure and thought of it as an outing.
But that slick guy, was so bold.
She said "I answered 'if i knew it was a date i might not have gone' then he somewhat got sad or something
Cos i thought of him as a brother >< then when we were cold in the cinema he hug me i'm like thinking nothing cos i thought it was a brother sister thingy".
Hahaha, that cracked me coz i knew i wouldn't be as bold as he is.

So the story goes on,
"Cos that time he liked someone else.. So when he asked me out i was like okay.. I need to clear my mind off some stuff so.. Just go lo >< until last night he told me it was a date... :/"
Gave some of my opinion and advice,
and she continued "But he liked someone else. So if he likes someone else and i like someone else we go out it aint a date right >< urm actually he didnt use the word outing. He just ask i free to go watch movie or not i say yes".

Bla bla bla,
then she said "Really? But what if we remain enemies forever, that will be bad :(
He's kind of a sensitive person. Anyway he's same age as u xD"
I told her ignoring and hating are different.
At that point, something hit me.
Ignoring her forever? That sounds similar.

Something similar...something that happened to me...
So it was my turn to tell her my story...

After hearing my story, she asked "Hm.. But arent u worried u guys might be like this forever? :/".
It was just simple question, yet... i'm not entirely sure of my answer...

After that, she said "he like to 'kao lui' though.. He knows the girls in my class and i didnt even know he was invited to her birthday party .. I was thinking maybe he's not that lonely after all but then he say when he left no one noticed and they were all playing game. Thats when i feel bad again ><
I thought guys were carefree :("

So in return i answered,
"We too have feelings, when we get serious, then it really matters.
Girls? have always a serious matter to us, except for playboys :3
We 'kao lui'(flirt) and see other girls but only 1 girl truly matters :3"

As the conversation goes on... she keeps thinking negatively of herself..
She kept telling me that she feels like she's just annoying him. She's not worth his attention anymore and stuff like that. and most of all she kept apologizing.
I thought.... Words like... "You're not worth my attention anymore" and "I'm sorry", they're just too familiar to me because it happened recently... Too recent for me... The sorrow i felt in these 1-2 months, felt like days just passed by and i still have a year to go.

The rest of our conversation, is just about the 2 of them getting back together as friends.
There are only 2 outcomes in situations like this : Friends/Strangers.
So i shared my story and my outcome was. Strangers once again.
How nostalgic... and how sad...
I wonder, did i really make the right choice?

The last decisive message... to ignore or to be friends once again?

My junior said... "Sorry if i'm wrong. U're just pretending she doesn't exist, arent u? U're making sure u treat her like a stranger. Thats not natural.. Eventually u both will get hurt or something

Oh wait i shouldnt talk crap. Sorry ><".
So i told her "'I'm just trying to living past this, give her a new experience.

let her learn, how much a person who cares can turn to hate

she who treasures her friends like gold, let her learn how it feels like to lose a friend."

That was my motive or rather objective. For her to learn, to feel. How many more challenges will she face in the future?

I don't know.
Like a rollercoaster,
If it doesn't falls down and just keeps on rising, how will it be fun?
It's bound to fall down someday at a certain point.   

So, i'll be the fall. Hopes she have fun in her life?

By the way, seems like i'm a little of topic here.
My junior and friend is currently thinking of a way to get back with her friend.
All i have to say "I'm glad, at least she tried". For both of the girls. My junior and ....

At some point in life, there comes a time when a man have to give one of this (what's inside) to a girl he truly loves.
Giving it and giving it with his heart inside are two entirely different meaning.
To have his hard work, feelings, heart and everything else inside. Given to that 1 girl.

I'm BROKE!!! Once again~

Assassin's Creed 3 : Liberation, for PS VITA.
Just released on 30/11/2012.
So far, Assassin's Creed games are based on men.
This time is based on a woman.

The game is set between 1765 and 1780, and primarily features Aveline de Grandpré, a female African-French Assassin around the end of the French and Indian War, in 18th Century New Orleans.(Wikipedia)

Alright, so i got a bit annoyed with my sister getting everything when she did nothing to earn it. While i worked and literally worked part-time jobs to get whatever i want and my mom finally agreed to buying me something for the year. So i chose this. 

Next Friday, 09/11/2012, i'll be flying back to my hometown in Sandakan.
Woohoo, balik kampung!!!
Though there won't be any wifi or any entertainment at night...
So, i hopefully this will be able to keep me occupied for the 9 nights i will be there.

Well, i'm pretty much broke. 
My MP3 costed me RM200.
My new hairdo costed me another RM148. (No pictures)
Owh damn... if i think about it...how many days and nights did it took me to earn all those money? *facepalm*

Peaceful Days with my Dog~

 *What you want?*

 My dog's favourite seat.

Yeap, that's my dog and yes, i do have a dog. =_=

Anyways, her name is Polly.

Though she have tons of nicknames.

Usually i just call her 'Pom-Pom', coz it sounds nicer~
My dog seriously barks A LOT especially when i'm sleeping or eating.

Ugh, you'll hate it if that happens to you.
But most of the time, she's a great company.

Normally, i would be alone at home.

Dad always working in estate.
Mom always working in her office.
Eldest sister studying in uni.
Second sister studying in uni.

So i'll always turn to my dog for company.

Play with her, bully her, disturb her when she's sleeping and occasionally nap beside her.
Words like 'Go out' and 'Chicken', instantaneously, she'll react to it. Those are her favourite words.
So, even i can't tell either going out or chicken is more important to her. :/

My dog enjoys 'outside' very much.

Those boring days when i have nothing to do.
Just lie down beside my dog feels better than lying on my bed alone.



Ugh....on the side note....

I think i'm sick =_= *facepalm*.
Few days started having flu, then came along my constant dehydration, headache and finally slight fever.
Rainy seasons woohoo, there goes my holiday. :3

Random gift and Music Is part of My Life.

It's Friday!! Second last day or last day of school for me.
SPM is early this year so we have our holidays earlier!
After getting back from school, took a quick shower and shot off straight for work.
DOME Paintball suddenly called me up yesterday to work coz today they got tournament.
Tired, sticky and utterly comfortable with 'paint' oil all over my body.
Walked in my room and a random gift appeared in front of my computer.
By instincts, i know for sure, my dad is home.
He always does this, giving me random gifts, causing me to need to find another place to put these stuff.
Usually he got these things by something else and someone else, then he'll pass it to me.
Like i said, most of the time he's an @sshole.
But in actual fact, he just doesn't know how to express his care for things.

 My RM200 MP3.
Just bought it yesterday, my previous one was taken back by my sister.
Originally is hers, and she wants to use it in Nation Service.
Anyways, wherever i go, MP3 is like a must bring item.
Without it, i'm not sure if i can maintain my sanity.
Whenever things get to loud or annoying, i can just shut my world away with music.
Example : Reading my story books in a noisy restaurant, MP3 would be perfect at that moment.