Short Story - Pass By

18/03/2013 – Monday

     I was among the crowd of people, all so busy with their lives. As I was slithering through the crowd, I was trying to escape and seek for freedom from this ‘sea’ of people. I saw a sight that captivated my attention, I was so drawn to it that I lost sight of my own objective.

     I stood there among the crowd, staring at a girl. As if I am  just a statue, the crowd kept on moving and moving as if I did not exist. She was there by an exclusive watch shop. I caught a glimpse of the prices and it seems only millionaires could afford those prices. The girl was wearing something simple, nothing complicated and nothing too simple, her long hair was finely straighten and her eyes were sparkling as she was adoring those extravagant watches.

     The look in her eyes were unimaginably captivating. It’s unlike a girl who found her true love nor a man who found gold but it’s more like a young innocent girl who has gotten her first toy. The sparkle in her eyes were…, words could not even express how it is. It’s just insanely amazing.

     I wanted to speak to her, even though she is just another stranger to me. Her eyes were still so mesmerized by those objects which only millionaires could afford yet I walk away as if I it would just be another memory for me.

     I walk among the crowd once again, moving on with my own selfish life.

-          Based on a true story      

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia : Day 2

17/03/2013 – Sunday

     Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia, today would be the second and also last day of event for the year. I didn’t arrive as early as I did yesterday because I had church service. By the time I reached to the event area, it’s already the 4^th contestant for the Animax Carnival Cosplay Competition.

     Anyways, today’s event is opened to public and the crowd is equally insane as yesterday. For the cosplayers, there are new cosplayers whom attented today, some of them cosplays the same outfit and some of them cosplays different outfit. For the photographers, well…I only recognized a few so I don’t really know.

The main event today wasn’t as exciting as yesterday. It’s the cosplay competition. There are about 13 semi-finalist(they won through the internet) , 8 finalist and 3 winners. The contestants’ few minutes of performance to catch the judge’s attention was dancing, singing and drama.  

One of the judges.

Lastly, here are the cosplayers and my comments section : 

 Lucy Heartfilia from Fairy Tail. It was an okay shot, I guess.

 This girl...well, she was very popular at that time. All the photographers showed no mercy and snapped away as she kept on posing for 'us'. 3:)

They looked like a nice pair so I couldn't resist asking to take a couple picture for them. Benefits me though.

 Okay...All I can say is, the guy/girl on the right kinda creeps me out.

 As I was roaming the crowd, a 'cute girl alert' came over me. So I quickly rushed over to snap a picture. I think she is cosplaying as Yui from K-On. Well, I'm not sure.

 Another pair shot I took. Strangely, the guy was better at posing than the girl.

 Oh yeah, this girl is awesome. She was like a doll! The mass of make up must be incredible. Oh and her poker face, It sticks to her for awhile. Couldn't even get her to smile.

 Well, it's just a 'pretty girl alert'. Walking past and snapped a picture.

 This shot wasn't bad especially since I used flashed.  The background + her dominating pose is suiting.

 First thing that came into my mind when I saw her, a huge box of Chocky!!! I think she'll look better with a smile but she just kept on using her poker face instead.

 Gotta give credit to this guy, his outfit does look pretty awesome. Oh, I would rate him the best male cosplay for today.

 The emo character, nothing much to say about it since. Her looks and the outfit does match, emo-ness.

 Asuna from Sword Art Online. It's odd, it's such a popular character and I've only seen one person cosplaying it!

 Oh, there's a story behind this one. Suddenly a huge crowd of people was excited, so I slithered my way and came here. Guess what? The guy proposed to his girlfriend, like, right in the picture and in their cosplay outfit... In this picture, they're about to kiss and yes I did take a picture of them kissing but it wasn't a good shot. Awww...so sweet, oh well, I wish them good luck with their marriage life.

Tifa! There are a few people cosplaying it but I only managed to take a picture of this girl cosplaying Tifa. She looks completely like a doll and she was seriously popular among the crowd. She just stood there for about half an hour because the crowd kept on coming to take a picture of and with her. 

Once again, she would be my favourite cosplayer for the day but since the guy above (arrows pointing the dude) spoiled the whole picture, I had to edit the picture into this :

Since my objective is to make her shin from the crowd, I had to darken the whole background and ESPECIALLY covering a portion of the guy's face. There you have it, a lost kitten in this 'sea' of people. There are so many people around yet it seems like only 1 person exist, this was my vision.  

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia : Day 1

16/03/2013 – Saturday

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia, today would be the first of the event! There are 2 days in total, today and tomorrow which would be 17/03/2013 (Sunday). I had to go early because my friend kept pestering me to go early because Audrey’s (friend of ours) group is going early.  Initially, I went to the event with guy and since his brother is driving us, I’ll just have to follow according to his schedule. =_=

     “Jeez, I don’t see him that spirited when it comes to school.” Anyways, by the time we reached Sunway Pyramid Blue Concorde, it was about 8.30 am. The queue is about 20 people long. It was quite boring because nothing was happening and my friend kept on complaining about our friends’ groups being late (we have 2 groups of friends, 3 including the 2 of us).

Honestly, I wasn’t bothered about it because I’ll end up running around myself, taking pictures and waiting for May’N performance. So yeah, It doesn’t make a difference to me whether they show up or not. 

     The event started on time, 10.00 am sharp and the people starts rushing into the ‘happening area’. About 10 minutes after I went into the Blue Concorde, the place is already packed! There are 5 booths inside the happening area which would be the Body Art, Photo Studio, Wanage, Daruma Otoshi and Syateki.

     Body Art is sticking a tattoo and I meant just a tattoo. For Photo Studio, you can make up, dress up and take picture. Wanage would be tossing a ring into the bottle, it’s like ring toss just that the name is in Japanese. Daruma would be, hitting the bottom of a whole stack of block and it doesn’t fall. Finally we have Syateki, you shoot balls with a toy gun to knock a bottle down. I sucked in all those games which means I lost all of them….even though they were so simple….

May'N!!!! 

 Photographers, so threatening. 

The vast crowd.

     After that, it’s all about the main event of the day. Live performance by May’N in Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia. She was the main reason I attended today’s event, I wanted to see her performance with my own eyes! She sang 4 songs though I only remember the name of 2 songs, Chase The World – Accel World and Kimi Shinitamō Koto Nakare – Shangri-La. She first sang to songs, the MC had an interview with and continued with her other 2 songs. Her ‘appearance’ ended after the photo taking session and autograph session but overall I really did enjoy her performance and totally did not regret skipping school for this.

      Last but not least, my second main reason for attending Animax Carnival would be taking pictures of cosplayers. I circled the Blue Concorde so many times that I lost count just to take pictures of cosplayer. My method of taking would be…”Oh…some people taking pictures over there, I should join in too.” :P So most of the it would be stealing shots and just a few times, I actually asked personally to take a picture of the cosplayers.

Here are some of the cosplayers and my comments :       

Well, nothing say much about this picture. (Stolen shot) I just think they are both young and okay?

 Jack Frost! I think I've met this guy in Comic Fiesta before. Anyways, the best part for his cosplay would probably be his hair and staff.

A mixture of ice and gun power.... How romantic? O.o

Well for this girl, I think the flower really brings out a difference. A gothic look but has combined with  nice reddish flowers.

 Hm...for this guy, what really brings the most out of him would be his huge sword. I'm a fan of huge swords and that huge sword seems well made, good job bro.

 Ah...a captain classed shinigami, for the guys, I think he got my highest rating for today.

 "Oh a cute girl!" I quickly slithered my way through the crowd and hopped over there to take a few shots because she looked cute at first sight. Lols.

 I like this pose, it looks ...how do I put it... Demanding? O.o

After taking 2 shots, she just abandoned her post but she did looked good. :3

 This would most probably be my favourite shot of the day because it shows a smile hidden by the gun. *sniff* I can feel the picture. Lols, not much though.

This picture is more well-taken than the above one but it just looks like another pose to me. Oh yeah and thanks buddy, thanks for being such a horrible background there. == (The guy who looks like he is doing Oppa Gangnam Style dance)

First Love

10/03/2013 – Sunday

     Once again, the memory of my first love has returned to me. I have been quite busy these days as in studying, playing games, working out in the gym and some other stuff. My mind was quite preoccupied with all these things and for some reason, all these sweet memories of her awoke in my mind.

   

     I believe in stuff like First Love. It may sound childish but who cares, It is my way of thinking. First Love, It is something special to me. My definition for it would probably be the first person I have truly fell for once upon a time. 2 years back, I had wished that my first love would also be my last but I guess it didn’t work out. xP

     The short, cute and specs girl. Who grew into about my height, cute and specs girl. Big changes, maturity have such impact for us teenagers. I think I grew up quite a bit too but I probably don’t notice it. :3 Anyways, she was the classmate and friend that I loved for 2 years +.  We started off as friends, slowly it grew from an interest to liking and finally love. People say teenage love is immature or known as ‘puppy love’ but are all teenagers like that? Think again.  

  She made me smile whenever I see her smiling or laughing. Every morning when I see her face, she was my motivation to improve myself. She was the first one who coloured my black and white world into something more colourful. :3 I bet she didn’t know but I always wanted to hug her whenever she starts crying and be the one who shoulder her sorrows.

     All the sweet memories, I always feel touched when they dominate my thoughts. The sweet girl who always laughs joyfully with her friends in class and cry over small reasons (well, small reasons for me anyways). The sweet memories turned into bitter memories. I had gone through my state of depression as I was suffering every single day and night because of being away from her. The feeling was the worst compared to all others.

     The situation always remains the same for me, I shatter for someone else but that someone else doesn’t even feel a thing for me. I told her that she was my first love not too long ago and she told me in return ‘I liked her because of my curiosity.’

     “Ha! I don't think I 'loved' you for 2 and half years just because of my curiosity.” With that, she changed topic. :P Back to topic, I felt this new foreign feeling because of her, learned how to stand up after I shattered and move on. First Love is like a lesson, a memory and a single time experience. :3

     Oh well, time passes. People change and so do feelings. What was once exist is now extinct. :3 

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I found this from my bible and I think it’s very meaningful. :3 

The 4th chapter. An even crazier chapter which won't be coming so soon. Estimation time, about 2 years time or more? 

What did I want?

07/03/2013 – Thursday

     “What is it that I want?” This question is so very familiar to me. My friend is facing love issues. Her situation is all so similar to mine few weeks back. She is in a stage where she longs for a guy but could not reach him, gets jealous of other girls because they interact with him and does not know what to do with her life.

     Once you know what you want, you’ll know what you need to do. It was an advice I gave to my friend but it was also something I couldn’t solve.

     “What did I actually want from her?” I also had a hard time seeking for answer to solve that question. I seriously did like her, love her actually even if I don’t know the true meaning of ‘love’, but what did I want from her? Is it a relationship? Is it her attention? Is it her love in return?

     “What were my answers then?” To move along with my life, I kept on pestering myself to answer the question. My selfishness would sometimes say, I want to love her and her to love me back in return (A relationship). Sometimes I’ll say a life of future with her, take care of her and protect her. Finally, I’ll answer. I want her to be happy, no matter who she is with, no matter where she is, what she is doing, what condition she is and whatever happens. 

     My final answer was, I want her to be happy all the time and enjoy her life.

     With that question solve, I knew what I had to do. I had 2 options and I took on both of them. One is to win her heart back and make her happy myself. Second, give up. Unfortunately, I obviously failed the first one and surprisingly failed the second one too.

      “She is so popular, so many choices, why choose me?” I have no progress, I wasn’t able to do anything and the timing for my plans was not right. Thus, I failed for my first option.  

     Giving up, so easy to say and do, then why wasn’t it working out for me? I kept myself busy, kept on telling myself to give up and move on but I end up falling for her even more. I realized, the time I forget about “I want to give up on her” is the time when I’ve really given up on her.

     In the end, someway, somehow and for some unknown reason, I gave up and forgot the feelings that I’ve held for her once upon a time… I guess fate showed that we were not meant for each other~ 

To my beloved friend, I’ll say this one more. Once you know what you want, you’ll know what you need to do.

That girl from my class.

Different people meeting other different people, an encounter meant to discover.

27-02-2012 – Wednesday

Girls, girls are everywhere in this world. They come from different backgrounds with different personalities and bla bla bla.  Anyways, which TYPE of girl interest you most?

     “What in the world do I mean by TYPE?” If that’s what you’re probably thinking right now, I’ll just give a few examples. Girls who are happy all the time (Smiles non-stop every day), kind of creepy too me since I’m somewhat the opposite. Girls who are overly popular (tons of friends and attention), girls who are outstanding (excel in all sorts of stuff but not necessarily popular) and quiet girls (isolates themselves and mind their own business).

     For me, I would be most interested in ‘special’ girls. I don’t know what category they fall into but I’ll just mark them as special. The feeling is different when I come across those girls but it’s rare because they don’t appear everywhere. I am an odd guy so it’s odd for others to understand what I meant by special girls.

     Special girls…. When I look at them, they will automatically stand out from the rest, different from all other girls. Some special girls have immediate effect on me, it’s like instinctively I’ll know they’re different while some other special girls takes time for me to figure out whether they’re different or same to everyone else. If I make eye contact, well, It will be easier for me to know. The feeling of their presence is also different. Imagine yourself in a world where everyone has auras, normal people would have white aura while special girls will have gold aura.

    “How do I compare special girls to other girls? Well, I can’t really explain because it’s all based on feelings and instincts.” It is kind of rude for me to say that only certain girls are special when all girls are special in their own way though this is a different case. Normal girls with ordinary personality are boring to me, not a single spark of interest would build in me.  I would be friends with them, even best friends but I won’t ever be interested in them.

     Special girls, that girl from my class, she is one of them. WM. Currently, there are few other girls that I noticed in my school stood out from all other girls in my school but as I am unable to observe them, I lost interest too since it’s not worth the effort. She is my classmate, a friend who I have not spoken to verbally before and yes, she is special to me.

     Before this, there was another girl from my previous school whom I marked as ‘special’ too. Her name is Stela and she was once my classmate then I transferred. Hahahaha.. Anyways, Stela was somewhat similar to WM since they are from the same category (my reference of category). Their personality is the same but obviously their interest differs. Personality! It is the personality I am interested in!

My classmates whom are girls.

     For Stela, I’ve only spoken to her few times before during my 3 years of studying in the same class with her. She is polite to me yet cold at the same time. In the virtual world, she’ll reply me the necessaries and ignore me after that. She loves writing and reading all sorts of novels, she clearly stood out from all the other girls in my previous class. By the way, I’ve gotten to know more about through her close friend (bus mate with her close friend).

     For WM, I only spoke to her once since last year till now. We’ve been in the same class for roughly a year already. She ignores me in any way possible and obviously cold to me. In the virtual world, she used to reply short messages and ignores me though there is improvement now, she chats with me for a while then starts ignoring me. :3 Hm… I don’t really know her, I don’t know her interest nor her life stories.  Just by my feelings and instincts, I marked her as ‘special’ and different from the rest of my other classmates (my perception).

     The 3 chapters of ‘love story’ in my life…. first girl was ordinary to me, second was special and the third was unknown till now. First love, ah…such memories, she is ordinary, no explanations needed and I have totally no idea how I fell in love for 2 and a half years. Second, my senior, she was and will still always special to me till now though something unfortunate happened… Third girl, the one I gave up on just about 2 weeks ago, I have no idea what category she falls into. Is she ordinary like all other girls or someone special?

Wouldn't my life be great if I interact with someone of the same kind?

     Back to topic, this morning I just had a very short and funny encounter with her. We had to take picture for our library card. As I was walking past her, I called her name as a sign of greeting. No reactions from her. When I got home, I found out the reason. She said I was disturbing her as she was preparing herself for the picture. The funny thing is, she wasn’t afraid of a bad picture but instead, she was nervous of everyone watching her as she takes her picture. “How cute!!!”

    WM is emotionally composed, elegant and have a soft lady-like voice. The way she walks, her voice, the way she thinks, the feeling around her and especially the look in her eye, they are all so different from other girls.   Although she is not fond of me…at all..I think.. She is still special to me. I don’t like her as a girl but I’m just interested in her, that’s my feelings for her. I cared for her even though it was none of my business but now, I don’t care for her because it is not of my business. WM is an independent girl, she would live on even if I never existed in her life, so she has all the rights to not bother about me. What difference would I make? I’ve just been through a tough chapter of my life, so I’ve pretty much lost interest in ‘love’ right now.  

     These days…I feel as if I’m the same as everyone else… I feel so ordinary, it is so boring to be normal. No difference, no drama.  

     “When did I become so emotional? When did I start caring so much? What happened to me?”

She changed me… I feel as if I’m a better person than before but I also feel as if I’ve killed a part of me because of a girl. One part of me, that difference is what makes me feel as if I am different from other people, as if I am in a different world. My neutral feelings, I can’t control them anymore, I start laughing, I start crying and I get mad from time to time.

     “What happened to the person I once was?"

Scars

25/02/2013 – Monday

Scars….What is your first thought when it comes to ‘scars’?

     When it comes to scars, there are 2 types of scars that I know of. Physical and Emotional scars. Physical scars are caused by perhaps a cut on the skin and it’ll be left as a mark there forever.  Emotional scars are like a gap in the heart, some calls it a traumatic experience and some would call it a bad experience.

     The emotional scar is like a dark memory, a one you don’t want to remember. The emotional scar is deep depending on what you have been through… The feelings you’ve felt and the pain you’re going through during the cut on your heart that makes an everlasting gap inside you.

     “What do you think of the scar?”

From my opinion, the scar does have benefits even though it is normally marked as a curse, something unfortunate to one’s life.

     “Why do I say it has benefits?”

Recently, I finally managed to escape from my own shackles. I kept on cutting myself deep inside me for months till scars were left all over my heart. These scars of mine, these gaps in my heart is a reminder for me to Never fall for the wrong person or care too much about someone else. Learn to be selfish even when it comes to someone you adore because the more you care, the more you love then the more you’ll be wounded in the end.

     The wounds are my lessons, the scars are a reminder. 

I probably won’t be falling for another girl any time soon. I’m too sick and annoyed with all these quiet love stories where I end up hurting myself. ==