02/03/2014 –
Sunday
End of semester is coming soon. Most of
the major presentations and assignments have been complete. What is left would
be my final examination. Recently, there have been a lot of things going
through my mind. Honestly, I have been
really stressful and frustrated. I’ve been stressing about things like money,
future, examinations, family and friends.
Money, this word is seriously crucial to
me. Well, it is crucial to everyone actually. Anyways, dad hasn’t been
supporting me financially at all as in he doesn’t pay for my college fees nor
gives me any allowance. I could practically admit that he’s not even my father.
Mom has been financially supporting me for my education and living expenses.
She has been constantly reminding me not to worry about anything related to
money but she has also been pressuring me about money. That’s what caused my
confusion. She disagrees to my weekend part-time as it’ll affect my studies so
I promised to work only during semester breaks.
Future, I’m more likely talking about what
I’ll be doing after the end of my first semester in Foundation in Business. I’m
worried that I might not be able to cope with Foundation in Business as
everything is so cramped and rushed. I admit that I’m a slow learner. Due to my
circumstances, I’m tempted to consider going for Diploma in Business as it won’t
be rushed but obviously, my mom disapproves it without hesitating. I think mom is worried about me because
lately, I’ve lost my self-confidence.
Examinations, this would be one of my traumas
in life. I got the examination trauma which is getting panic attacks during my
SPM examination. My heart starts beating quickly, my mind will get hazy, I’ll
freeze and I’ll be paralyzed on the spot. In short, I’ll be useless in exam
even if I did do my preparations.
Family, I have nothing much to say about
this because it’s mostly related to my dad. Although, it is still one of the
factors that made me stressed.
Last but not least, friends or rather
friend. She’s a ‘fun to be with’ girl who thinks snakes are cute. She is Kim
Kim. ^^ To be honest, one of the reasons why I look forward going to college
every day is because I would get to see her. Last week, due to certain reasons, I kind of
ignored her for 3 days and within that 3 days, life in college was much more
boring compared to usual. Life in college wouldn’t be so fun without her. :P In a way, I’ve grown a little attached to her
because I communicate with her the most in college. :3 The most 'pigu' person I've met in college.
She is a friend that I'll always remember to bully. She has left many bruises
on my arms almost daily but the biggest bruise she’ll ever leave is if she
changes college after the first semester. L Yes, she ‘might’ be transferring to
a different college after our first semester. It sounds selfish of me to say
this but hope she doesn’t transfer because I’ll miss her like mad, damn pigu. :/
Self-Development Presentation Day. We were in fully black formal wear. xD!! (As if visiting funeral, omg!!!)
