End Of 2012! Stepping into the New Year 2013.

31/12/2012 – Monday

     2012. What a year this has been… Afresh anew, this is a completely life changing year for me. There have been so many changes in my life, many new challenges, meeting all type of people and so many new experiences. Everything is just so much that it leaves me utterly speechless, Insanity has struck me.

January

-          Started my high school life. Form 4

-          New house getting properly furnished

-          Still miss Xiao Thong

-          Changed school AGAIN! SMK Bandar Sunway to SMK USJ 8

-          Met whole lot of new friends.

-          Enrolled into 4A (Science Stream)

      February

-          Started communicating with my senior again. J

-          Joined Photography Club and learned Macro.

-          Still miss Xiao Thong

-          Suffering in Science Stream. 

    March

-          Changed to 4 Dedikasi!!! (Science Stream to Commerce Stream)

-          Gotten Dengue sickness. ==

-          Met a whole new bunch of awesome people and friends!

-          Became buddies with Phang, Irvin and Joel.

-          Got closer with my senior.. J

-          The ending of our story…  (Letting go of Xiao Thong)

-          Made a new blogger friend : Shu Yen

    April

-          Grew older, became 16 years old. :3

-          Drank my very first Starbucks!

-          Getting B2 license.

-          Did my worst ever mistake ever. Pushing away someone I should have NEVER pushed away.

    May

-           Bought my first ever motorbike!!! LC135 = Best friend. :3

-          Confession and Rejection to & from Xiao Thong. Obiettivo Settimo. (Proper ending of this story)

-          Gotten my very first crash.

-          First semester holiday.

-          Started working in DOME PAINTBALL, SUMMIT USJ.

    June

-          Hehehe… Had my first date with my senior… As friends. xD

-          Took my first class picture in SMK USJ 8. Everyone from 4 Dedikasi!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

    July

-          Feelings started growing for a certain girl.

-          Went for Subang Rally 2012!!! Definitely a day to remember. J

-          Started working in Dynasty Dragon Seafood Restaurant as a waiter.

      August

-          She passed out for a day and a half!!!

      (The month I truly understand the feeling of relief when she awakes)

-          My doggie went for surgery. :/

-          Chose Game Console over Girls. I’ve gotten my PS VITA!!!

-          Feelings growing even more for her.

-          Ratty Culprits getting caught!

    September

-          Set my sights and heart for a girl.

-          Caught the biggest rat. Known as Rat Leader (for me)

-          Turn of events, where my mistake is and where things fall.

-          My school’s Hari Karnival. (Never knew walking away from someone can hurt so much)

-          My horrible plan is already in motion…

   October

-          My mind in desperation for a girl.

-          Made new friend and got backstabbed.

-          Experienced my worst nightmare. (Girl I like being kissed by some Korean celebrity)

-          Final exam. A month long.

-          Training for Superbike begins.

   November

-          Bought my very own MP3 player.

-          Changed lessons from B2 to B Full license.

-          Final term holiday begins.

-          Trip back to my hometown, Sandakan.

-          Reuniting with my beloved friends in Sandakan.

-          Confession to a girl, rejection from a girl and realization because of a girl. Just 1 and only girl.

-          My world shatters. Toughest month of the year.

   December

-          Met an online friend who soon made an impact in my life.  

-          Created my first ever self-production video!!!

-          Adjusting my feelings and thoughts, regaining control of myself.

-          Done the craziest things in my life. Literally the craziest ever so far.

-          Attained B Full license.

-          Attended my very first Comic Fiesta 2012 with my friend!

-          Made the girl I love, hate me.

          AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT A CRAZY YEAR!!! Overall I must say, this year is AWESOME and yet INSANE!  There are just so many things that I thought I wouldn’t be able to comprehend but somehow I managed to survive throughout the year! For a teenager, this is seriously outrageously insane, simply unimaginable and completely mind-blowing year. There has been so many changes, challenges, experience, heartbreaks, love and oh lust. ;) Lols! I am completely exhausted in all aspects, body, mind and soul but I’ m already stepping into 2013?! SAVE ME!!! Anyways, every year I would keep improving myself and step into the new years as a better person but somehow it feels like I’m stepping into 2013 as a…less better person this time? Jeez, that spoiled everything. >_< Though I feel that 2013 is going to be an even more FUN & AWESOME year!!! My soul is running wild as I’m going to be 17 and in Form 5 soon, SPM would probably be my biggest challenge for 2013, how exciting?!  My final year in high school, I promised myself to enjoy it to the FULLEST!!!  

      TO EVERYONE OUT THERE IN THIS PLANET, ENJOY YOUR YEAR AND JUST HAVE FUN NO MATTER WHAT!

Comic Fiesta 2012 at KLCC Convention Centre!

25/12/2012 – Tuesday

     Merry Christmas to Everyone!!! Christmas is the time of the year or rather day when everyone goes out enjoy with their friends and family. Sharing gifts and happiness with everyone though many people especially kids mistaken Santa Claus as the Star of the day. That is a horribly terrible mistake. :o Christmas represents the birth of Jesus Christ, the savior, the messiah, the king of kings and so on. My… he is so powerful that his titles are endless. Well I’m just reminding you all the true meaning of Christmas. J

People... I see people everywhere... @_@

 My Friend Kerstin! :D

     Moving on, my first ever Comic Fiesta visit!!! It was held for 2 day on the 22^nd & 23^rd of December for 2012 which would be weekends at KLCC Convention Centre. I only went for the second day as I was busy having too much ‘fun’ on Saturday. ;) Anyways, I took the bus and train to reach there. Surprisingly, the trip wasn’t as long as I expected and that’s a good thing!

     By the time we (my friend and I) reached there, the place was already packed. @_@ It was about…9.30am? The queue for Early Birds (pre-order tickets) was long enough but compared to Walk-In Ticket Buyers (including us), the difference was so big that it’s actually..huge? People… I see people everywhere… The entire hall leading to the Comic Fest hall was filled with nothing but people!!! The Early Birds gets to go in to the hall first, the Walk In have to wait till 10.30am before we can start buying tickets to enter. So we stood & sat around for about an hour before we got to buy our tickets. Once the tickets for Walk In starts selling, it was quite fast till it’s our turn to enter. Fyi, each ticket cost RM20 per person, it’s a day pass. 

Figurines

 Miku?! Sexy pose?!

 Vocaloid Girls!

 Black Shooter Character. Nice Gloves :3

 Black Shooter Characters.

 Black Shooter's Main Girl?

 Forgot what anime jorh. :3

 So dramatic.. I must say it's a good shot. xP

     Inside the convention centre where Comic Fest is held, the whole place is separated into 3 sections. Exhibitor Area (A place to showcase certain figurines and a market place for anime stuff such as clothes, accessories, posters, pillows, DVDs and so on). Creative Art Market (A place where people from everywhere come to sell their artwork or handicrafts). Stage Area (It is the performance, competition area and events place).  

     My friend and I walked about exhibitor area for quite a while to do some ‘admiring’ at expensive stuff sold at Comic Fest. I managed to buy like 2 posters, 1 ring, 1 keychain and some badges. O.o We just kinda walk past Creative Art Market and see only, wasn’t really that interested. I think I spent the most time at the Stage Area. There was kinda band singing and the cosplay competition. The MCs’ were so funny but bad at the same time, they kept making fun of everyone. I guess that’s the way they entertain people?

 Random Cosplayers.

 Cosplay Competition Contestants.

 Contestant of different anime & cartoon characters.

 Me?! Are you calling me?! O.O *happy face*

 Jack Frost... Is that a girl or guy? == I think it's a girl... :x

 All i want to say is just.. Miao :3

 Nami and Ghost Girl from One Piece!

 I have no idea what anime or cartoon is this, but looks good. :3

  Sawada Tsunayoshi's Vongola Ring, also Cold-HeartedMe's latest ring. 

     Apparently, the Event Highlights were Creative Factor, Video Games Competition, Creative Art Market, Mirai Kopitiam, Cosplay Competition and finally Special Guest Appearance which is Bless 4. I didn’t stay for the last event which would be Bless 4 performance because it was getting late and we haven’t had our lunch yet. We ended up walking around and I took pictures of random cosplayers walking by just for the thrills~

     Overall I would like to say, Comic Fiesta 2012 was a FUN and NEW experience for me. Something to remember and learn from..though I’m not sure what I can learn from it besides seeing people. xD

   

Never Too Late

19/12/2012 – Wednesday

     I was and am a fool. If only that was a joke, I wouldn’t be in despair right now. The reason for my despair is just my foolishness and nothing more.

     Every time when I go for a ride, I’ll always happen to pass by her area. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, hoping to see her coming out from there every single time because I have no idea where is her exact location. I remember there was once when she told me to meet up with her and talk in reality, face to face, instead of that wretched virtual world that has been a barrier for me to reach her. I went overboard with my plan that eventually back-fired on me. I realized that I was sacrificing myself for nothing but I didn’t know that I couldn’t endure the consequences.

     Ignorance is so simple yet effective but deadly… Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘too lost in love’? I haven’t, but that’s probably because I was the one who did just that. I was too lost in love with her as she is somewhat PERFECT for me. My negative mind keeps reminding me that a guy like me have definitely no chance for a girl like her. I was blinded by myself because little did I know, that I had a once in a lifetime chance to be with that girl.

     Never be a fool like me and never doubt yourself for what you can do because if you condemn yourself, then nothing will ever go right and you’ll regret the results for life, till your very last breath. Remember, you are never too late till you realize.

     Why must I make things so complicated? Why must I love to live in a dramatic world? Why am I so weird? Why?

     I could have done what others did. Comfort her, encourage her and stuff like that. My life would have been much happier that way and things would have worked out for once. Why? Why did I use the hard method to change her when she if fine the way she is?

     Why..? WHY? WHY?! WHY?!!?!?!?!!?

This Is My Life

First of all, I do not own any of the songs above.
Okay that's done.

Anyways, this is my holiday's for fun project.
I was too bored and decided to do something, so this project was a way to kill my boredom.
It took me days of work.
Writing out the script, travelling from place to place, taking the video, editing and publishing me.
Editing was seriously a pain the neck because the Windows Movie Maker keeps crashing before I even have the chance to save my work, causing me to keep repeating my work.
It was fun as this is my very first time producing my own video.
Self-Production, I everything by myself as nobody support me.

The girl actress is my senior. She is the only person who helped me with my video. Before this, Shu Yen(classmate, blogger and friend) also agreed to help me. Thanks. ;)
Originally, my senior was the girl I had in mind for my video but she is always busy so I didn't asked her first.

So anyways....
Anyone with any questions or comments, please go to Youtube and comment below. :D
Do like and share if possible.
Hopefully, there are no negative opinions. xD

This Is Me

Horribly huge grammar mistake, if you notice. ;)

12/12/2012 – Wednesday

     Born in an average family, my life should be clear-cut simple. “My life is so completely complicated”, that is what most people would think and I wouldn’t exclude myself from that statement. Every complication has AT LEAST a solution, and that solution varies differently depending on the individual. “How does your mind work?” That represents the way a person thinks and how they solve their complication.

                Simple, average and sophisticated type of person, which type of person are you? Obviously everyone would think their life is so complicated, making them sophisticated but are you so sure about that? Even if you are so sure about yourself, but this world, this reality, does not agree with each and every one of us except for only some people. That was considered a fair opinion, agree? Anyways, I should have been a different person from who I am currently. A loathsome and disregarded person, a demon, that is who I am right now to many people.

     Like I stated above, I was born in an average family. Normal parents who are strict and loving, a little odd yet caring sisters, stable in finance and the same to every average family except there is me, the rebellious son who is an eccentric person. “Have you ever heard of this statement before?” ‘Every family has at least one black sheep in the family’ I think the black sheep (unfortunate persona) of my family is no one else but me. Pathetic and disgraceful, even I view myself as someone to be hated or worst, pitied. 

I was a normal child once, so I’m not anymore. To be more precise, I was more of a brat for a child. I demand for everything I desire, always hot-tempered and throwing tantrums was like a hobby to me. Playing and having fun, that was my purpose in life then. I never cared for anything and definitely anyone at all except for myself, I live solely for myself. Being human and having a conscience, realizing things and growing up was what changed me. I became different when my age stroke 13.

     My mind maturing, the same as everyone else around me, I began to view things differently. The way I think becomes so odd and strange, the new thoughts are unknown to me. I changed drastically when I learned to control myself. My anger, my sadness and even my happiness, I learned how to render them neutral. Only certain days would I break down due to the sadness or anger accumulated inside of me. I fear myself when any one of my main three emotions goes out of control. My main three emotions would be happiness, sadness and anger.

 The blogger, working at da park. xD

     Happiness, a feeling which everyone enjoys, long for and fight hard to achieve. I fear it if I get too much of it. Why? I will become blind when I’m happy and I’ll be defenseless, anyone could crush it any time and the pain would be beyond unbearable. It’ll be excruciating. That is why I neutralize my happiness even if I do manage to achieve it.

     Sadness, it is a feeling which everyone tries to avoid. For this emotion, I too am the same. I normally just hide the sorrow in my heart and try my best to keep a smile on my face. That smile is my mask, a mask I worked hard for. Some people tend to just keep their sorrow inside them while others just burst it out, there is a difference. How a strong-willed cries and comfort themself while some others just cries in public and others starts comforting them. I fear it because being sad and ‘crying’ is overly pathetic, non-beneficial and only disgraces one self. Crying because of the sadness accumulated inside of us, what is the point? I honestly dare say I stopped that ridiculous actions known as crying for a long time but I must also admit that I cry when I’m at my limits. That is why I neutralize my sadness which I detest most.

     Anger, a feeling that is most uncontrollable, easily activated and most feared by some people. A feeling to just go out of control, rampage and destroy. This emotion, anger, is my most unpredictable emotion. The toughest emotion to control. Whenever I get mad with something or someone, I would want to crush things, destroy them. Over the years, I have learned to direct all my anger to hitting walls. So I won’t break anything but just hurt myself instead, at least I won’t be a nuisance to others. When I’m angry at someone, it is even worst. I have this urge of hurting others. Hurt them so badly that they will beg for forgiveness even when I’m stepping their heads on the ground. Given my physical capabilities and fighting skills which I have honed throughout the years, I may be able to perform it to certain people. Overcoming this emotion, I tend to just walk away and avoid physical or further confrontation to escape from my anger. I have been regarded as a coward MANY times by MANY people, but little do they know what may happen to them if I didn’t become a ‘coward’. That is why I neutralize my anger at all cost. 

Typing it in. :D

     Is it the right choice to use harsh methods for the right reasons to achieve the best results? Given that you understand the consequences, you are to condemn yourself in the end, will you do it for the sake of others? I discovered something new last month, after my rejection.

     To love a girl, to know that she keeps wanting to die and not be able to be with her. My world is cruel to me, I wanted to change that. I want her to enjoy living even if I myself want to suicide and most of all, I wanted to know her in reality instead of the virtual world we communicate in. There was this greed to want to be with her. After analyzing and planning, I have decided to use a harsh method, a method with enough motivation to change her. She is a girl who treasures friends like gold, so the method is simple yet effective. Ignorance towards her as I think I’m qualified enough to be her ‘friend’. Days, weeks and months passed by, I am growing weaker every single day. Who can ignore the girl or person they love? Even if I’m just communicating with her online or text, virtual world, at least I feel like I am with her. I love the feeling of being with her, it’s so… warm. Though my ignorance towards has been too long and that was my mistake, it backfired on me. I confessed, she rejected and I don’t blame her for giving up because I am to be blamed. Those days of ignorance, it probably hurt me more than it hurt her because I honestly do love her… She probably thought I was the selfish guy who got mad and left her, abandoned her but then, when have anyone been there for me when I’m in despair? *sigh* who knows, I don’t know what she really thinks of me after all.

     “Am I actually a good or bad person?” I tend to question myself some time. Some people thinks I am good and others thinks I am bad but I treat everyone equally. What they view of me is who I am to them. People believe what they think are correct, the right choice. I too believe what I think is correct but what if one of us is often wrong? There are no good or bad people, because both sides think they are doing the right thing, making the right choices and taking the appropriate actions.

     Am I a hypocrite or am I being sincere? I will not change the way you think of me because it is how you view of me, that decides who am I to you.  

(THE END)

Almost Next Chapter Of My Life

19/11/2012 – Monday

     My mind being dizzy, startled in my dreams, I awoke at 6 am hoping for dawn but the sun is sunny and risen already. “Jeez, the sun sure is eager today.”

     Today would be my last day for this year in Sandakan, my hometown. Unfortunately, I wasn’t all that happy nor sad but grumpy on that day because of the dream of *ahem* her again. So once again… coincidentally, I had 2 different dreams of her.

     One dream shows that we were just fooling around. There was one scene that happened in the classroom, though I don’t remember what happened. The other scene takes place in a house where she’s showing her sweet nature and stuff like that. I thought I’d heard her voice, that unusually cute voice…
 

     The second dream… wooohoo… it’s a nightmare to me. =_= While I was hanging out with one of her friends, we saw a dog that seems like hers. Unsure, she led me to her house to return the probably lost dog. My friend cycled while I ran while carrying the dog. Her house that I dreamt of of was odd… made out of wood, 2 entrances and each consists of 2 rooms. One room was entirely hers while the other consists of kitchen, bathroom and others. (Reality : She lives in an apartment or something similar to it) Anyways, her mom was the one who answered our knock. All I could remember was that her mom is quite tall, long hair and surprisingly young though I have never met her mom in real life before. When I handed over the dog, she just “Owh yeah, this is my dog.” The dog throttled along her as she just heads back into her room resuming on her television program without another word. My friend just looked at me, shrugged, then joined her.

     *Cling* Glass shatters and alone I was in the darkness. The questions starts flowing in.. Who is she? What is she like? Where will she show her dark side? When will she act differently? What other secrets are yet to be uncovered?

     As I awake, I just scratched my hair and shrugged.. “It’s just another dream..” I realize after I go back to Selangor today, my whole life will have already evolved once again. Done things I have never done before, said things I have never said before  and felt feelings I have never felt before… I’m almost stepping into the next chapter of my life.

     Come world…Offer your worst, dish out everything you have on me. Screw me up, make me cry and treat me so badly that I’ll be on the verge of insanity. Allow me to learn to fear you..

     Beaten down, worn out by the world itself. Thus, allowing me to grow even more. Evolution, let me realize more things, understand them and conquer them. I’ll be even more crazier, ruthless and obviously different though I prefer using the word ‘extraordinary’.

    The following year… is going to be a FUN year. ;) 

Reunion ~ (Siblings)

14/11/2012 – Wednesday

     Awaited, it has been 1 year ago since I’ve met with my mei mei (little sister). She may not be my blood-sister but I treat her as my actual little sister (I’m the youngest in my blood-family so I do not have a younger sibling).

     Anyways, I just sat around with a cup of milk tea for about an hour. We were supposed to meet up at 12.00 pm, though I guess that didn’t happened. An hour passed, surprisingly I was still in a cool state and calm mind as patience is my worst subject.

     As she arrived, I just act dumb and continued fiddling with my PS VITA. Honestly, I was surprised when she suddenly ran over to me and gave her kor (big brother) a hug. It was my first hug, from my little sister. So touched… lols == After that, we rushed off to lunch. Celine’s dad was driving (friend’s dad), another guy trying to be funny. ==

      We chat, we eat and we walk about Bandar Indah. Ended up in some kind of FOC(Free of Charge) book shop?! I was like “What?! FOC?! Then how or what do they earn from?!” Apparently, It’s just some quiet place with 2 to 3 shelves of Chinese book.  They’ll serve you tea and you could do whatever you desire such as revision, read books, sketching and sorts.

     Moving alone, Celine’s house was obviously huge and definitely fully furnished. A little too furnished in fact. She owns a super cute kitty, which I bullied. It was funny when it kept trying to claw and bite me in a ….kitten manner? Small kitten, mixture of black and white colour and playful, that’s Celine’s kitty. My mei (little sister) who likes cats is terrified of that little kitten. How Hilarious!!! XD

     I practically just sat around her house listening to them screaming on and on to Linkin Park’s songs with her karaoke and stereo system. I bet their neighbors must seriously detest them. Escape, managed to persuade my mei to bring me go to the nearby jill for some ‘hiking’. For an adventurous guy like me, this is what I love to do most.

     Life, school, people and love. All random topics just popped up while we brother and sister were bonding. I truly did miss my mei, at least someone understands me. The day ended with our pictures taken.  Walked up to some random guy and requested him to help us take some shots. Confused, I forgot  to reset my camera settings as it was on timer, the guy was thinking “What the.,.. is something wrong with this camera?” XD

      Canon g10, I’m so sorry for soiling your name! XD

(END)
     

Carefree Day

13/11/2012 - Tuesday 
     Rolling on the bed, the sun is already shining so ever brightly at 8.00 in the morning. Half-awake, I just kept thinking of the girl I want to confess to. When will be the right time? Will I be successful? What’s her reaction? These thoughts just flicker through my mind.
     I had no plans for that. No appointment, no nothing. My grandma casually walked in the room to tell me that breakfast was ready. Being my usual self, I lay on my bed for awhile before getting up to prepare myself for the day.
     As I lay on my bed, I read the book ‘The Sorceress’ after satisfying my tummy. Phone rang, it was one of my gaming buddies.
     Perfect, go out to yumcha (similar to teatime) with my buddy. It has been a year since we’ve last met.
     The day just passed, just like that. We drank while chatting, gaming session for an hour, lunch then chat and the day goes on with drinking and chatting.
     Many topics were included. School, girls, others and life. The time didn’t matter, we had so much to catch up on. From 10.30 in the morning, we just literally drink and chat till 5.00 in the evening.
     Never had this experience before, there was just so much too much to talk about.

(END)

Reunion ~ (Friends 2)

15/11/2012 – Thursday
 

     “It has been a year long.”
     My mind just flickered through the memories I have since 1 year ago. So many things happened, now as a slightly different person, I once again meet and reunite with the friends I once abandoned.

     Strolled into Mc’Donald as my usual self, small bag sling across my shoulders with earphones stuck to my ears. A sigh of relief flushed across my face, a few of them arrived on time with familiar faces. At least, no major changes.

     As I sat down and mingle with the early birds, other familiar faces arrived. Some of them had grown taller, voice turned rougher, those who had short hair became long, some wore contact lens instead of spectacles and some… didn’t change at all. >_<

     From my opinion, they’re outer appearance may have changed a little though they’re attitude and personality remains the same. These are my friends that I once knew.

     Relationship status? Changed a lot throughout this year. Eight out of eleven people that attended that gathering, had started dating this year as in 78%. I’m one of the three people who MANAGED to remain single till now, the minority group. Those who I EXPECTED not to date before me but started dating already which made me really….. *Facepalm*. All I could think of was…”Gosh, I’m such a loser.”

     A casual greeting with a silent greeting from my heard, “We meet again.” ‘She’ came. Months of suffering and depression because of the mistakes I’ve regretted, I finally got to meet the girl I once loved before, 1/3 of the girls that really mattered to me.

     Slightly taller than before, hair grown much longer and her spectacles replaced by contact lens, she looks even more prettier and mature than before. She told me that at first sight, she didn’t recognized me but as I greeted her then she realized it was me. HOW SAD!!! :o Straightforward confrontation, agreed and accepted, those feelings we had once have been put aside. I fell for another, and I’m sure she fell for another too.

     We exchanged stories and had many to tell as we were having lunch.  Followed by photo shoot, so called, of my friends and I.

     One by one, each of them left after the gathering ended. “Just 2 hours? That was short, too short,” I thought to myself. It’ll probably be another year till we meet again.

     After I finish my yumcha (similar to teatime) with my friend, I set off to go hiking with my dear mei (little sister) once again.

(END) 

From right : Some random fella, Chau Man 

 Whao...taking picture with lenglui, Woohoo~ :3

 Er....?

 From right : Mei Fu, random guy, Yan Tung

 Picture of the day. This is just Hilarious!!!

 Owh...the so sweet couple~

 Missing one person actually~