Hypocrites.

10/10/2013 – Thursday

     I completely wasted my whole week till Tuesday, which was two days ago. Once again, I did something meaningless on my own by my own will. I seriously need to learn from my mistakes but my stubborn heart just won’t listen to my logically rational brain. They need to work together so I wouldn’t feel like a piece of shit.

    I was aware that our relationship was strictly ‘strangers’. Nevertheless, I still made an effort to surprise her for her birthday (even when she never asked for it). I tried making a star out of wood…yeah…that didn’t work out.. made several attempts with several type of wood…It was frustrating when it kept breaking. In the end, I gave up and went with something simpler. There were some other things too that went with that gift but they’re too worthless to be mentioned.

Anyways, I also made a video of me playing piano for her. The video was so embarrassingly lousy but it took me hours and days of practice to reach that stage, *sigh*…I really suck when it comes to music.

     All have said but everything I did was just a useless gift. I had to plead my senior for help because I couldn’t even face her. I followed my heart and did what I felt like doing but in the end, it was meaningless. I shouldn't have done it in the first place because it brings grief instead of joy. I delude myself and hope for a fairy tale to happen but I got reality instead. It was my own fault that this happened, because I was being irrational. Moral of the story (for me anyways), don’t bother doing so much for someone else, you won’t be appreciated until you’re dead or something like that.

     There’s this phrase that’s been floating around recently “The more you care for others, the more you’ll get hurt.” So, don’t care then you won't get hurt but this is why this world is now so heartless. When you're kind to others, they take advantage of your kindness and when you don't care for others, they will despise you. Everyone is selfish, everyone only cares for themselves, we watch someone die in front of us and say “so what?” yet so many of us dare to complain about others being heartless. 

“Why are you so selfish? Why do you care about yourself only? Don’t you have a heart?”

Hypocrites, aren’t you the ones who made us like this? The ones who didn’t care in the beginning wouldn’t bother till the end. The ones who did care, was hurt by the likes of hypocrites and wouldn’t save another soul yet they are to be blamed. The less we care, the better. This is how our world is and this will be the reason why our world will deteriorate in the future.

For the people around me, they say I’m scary, they say I’m rude and they say I’m cold-hearted.

Look at yourselves, are you any better?

Blame me for being such a cold and scary person, blame you for being hypocrites.

Peace Out.