End Of 2012! Stepping into the New Year 2013.

31/12/2012 – Monday

     2012. What a year this has been… Afresh anew, this is a completely life changing year for me. There have been so many changes in my life, many new challenges, meeting all type of people and so many new experiences. Everything is just so much that it leaves me utterly speechless, Insanity has struck me.

January

-          Started my high school life. Form 4

-          New house getting properly furnished

-          Still miss Xiao Thong

-          Changed school AGAIN! SMK Bandar Sunway to SMK USJ 8

-          Met whole lot of new friends.

-          Enrolled into 4A (Science Stream)

      February

-          Started communicating with my senior again. J

-          Joined Photography Club and learned Macro.

-          Still miss Xiao Thong

-          Suffering in Science Stream. 

    March

-          Changed to 4 Dedikasi!!! (Science Stream to Commerce Stream)

-          Gotten Dengue sickness. ==

-          Met a whole new bunch of awesome people and friends!

-          Became buddies with Phang, Irvin and Joel.

-          Got closer with my senior.. J

-          The ending of our story…  (Letting go of Xiao Thong)

-          Made a new blogger friend : Shu Yen

    April

-          Grew older, became 16 years old. :3

-          Drank my very first Starbucks!

-          Getting B2 license.

-          Did my worst ever mistake ever. Pushing away someone I should have NEVER pushed away.

    May

-           Bought my first ever motorbike!!! LC135 = Best friend. :3

-          Confession and Rejection to & from Xiao Thong. Obiettivo Settimo. (Proper ending of this story)

-          Gotten my very first crash.

-          First semester holiday.

-          Started working in DOME PAINTBALL, SUMMIT USJ.

    June

-          Hehehe… Had my first date with my senior… As friends. xD

-          Took my first class picture in SMK USJ 8. Everyone from 4 Dedikasi!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

    July

-          Feelings started growing for a certain girl.

-          Went for Subang Rally 2012!!! Definitely a day to remember. J

-          Started working in Dynasty Dragon Seafood Restaurant as a waiter.

      August

-          She passed out for a day and a half!!!

      (The month I truly understand the feeling of relief when she awakes)

-          My doggie went for surgery. :/

-          Chose Game Console over Girls. I’ve gotten my PS VITA!!!

-          Feelings growing even more for her.

-          Ratty Culprits getting caught!

    September

-          Set my sights and heart for a girl.

-          Caught the biggest rat. Known as Rat Leader (for me)

-          Turn of events, where my mistake is and where things fall.

-          My school’s Hari Karnival. (Never knew walking away from someone can hurt so much)

-          My horrible plan is already in motion…

   October

-          My mind in desperation for a girl.

-          Made new friend and got backstabbed.

-          Experienced my worst nightmare. (Girl I like being kissed by some Korean celebrity)

-          Final exam. A month long.

-          Training for Superbike begins.

   November

-          Bought my very own MP3 player.

-          Changed lessons from B2 to B Full license.

-          Final term holiday begins.

-          Trip back to my hometown, Sandakan.

-          Reuniting with my beloved friends in Sandakan.

-          Confession to a girl, rejection from a girl and realization because of a girl. Just 1 and only girl.

-          My world shatters. Toughest month of the year.

   December

-          Met an online friend who soon made an impact in my life.  

-          Created my first ever self-production video!!!

-          Adjusting my feelings and thoughts, regaining control of myself.

-          Done the craziest things in my life. Literally the craziest ever so far.

-          Attained B Full license.

-          Attended my very first Comic Fiesta 2012 with my friend!

-          Made the girl I love, hate me.

          AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT A CRAZY YEAR!!! Overall I must say, this year is AWESOME and yet INSANE!  There are just so many things that I thought I wouldn’t be able to comprehend but somehow I managed to survive throughout the year! For a teenager, this is seriously outrageously insane, simply unimaginable and completely mind-blowing year. There has been so many changes, challenges, experience, heartbreaks, love and oh lust. ;) Lols! I am completely exhausted in all aspects, body, mind and soul but I’ m already stepping into 2013?! SAVE ME!!! Anyways, every year I would keep improving myself and step into the new years as a better person but somehow it feels like I’m stepping into 2013 as a…less better person this time? Jeez, that spoiled everything. >_< Though I feel that 2013 is going to be an even more FUN & AWESOME year!!! My soul is running wild as I’m going to be 17 and in Form 5 soon, SPM would probably be my biggest challenge for 2013, how exciting?!  My final year in high school, I promised myself to enjoy it to the FULLEST!!!  

      TO EVERYONE OUT THERE IN THIS PLANET, ENJOY YOUR YEAR AND JUST HAVE FUN NO MATTER WHAT!

Comic Fiesta 2012 at KLCC Convention Centre!

25/12/2012 – Tuesday

     Merry Christmas to Everyone!!! Christmas is the time of the year or rather day when everyone goes out enjoy with their friends and family. Sharing gifts and happiness with everyone though many people especially kids mistaken Santa Claus as the Star of the day. That is a horribly terrible mistake. :o Christmas represents the birth of Jesus Christ, the savior, the messiah, the king of kings and so on. My… he is so powerful that his titles are endless. Well I’m just reminding you all the true meaning of Christmas. J

People... I see people everywhere... @_@

 My Friend Kerstin! :D

     Moving on, my first ever Comic Fiesta visit!!! It was held for 2 day on the 22^nd & 23^rd of December for 2012 which would be weekends at KLCC Convention Centre. I only went for the second day as I was busy having too much ‘fun’ on Saturday. ;) Anyways, I took the bus and train to reach there. Surprisingly, the trip wasn’t as long as I expected and that’s a good thing!

     By the time we (my friend and I) reached there, the place was already packed. @_@ It was about…9.30am? The queue for Early Birds (pre-order tickets) was long enough but compared to Walk-In Ticket Buyers (including us), the difference was so big that it’s actually..huge? People… I see people everywhere… The entire hall leading to the Comic Fest hall was filled with nothing but people!!! The Early Birds gets to go in to the hall first, the Walk In have to wait till 10.30am before we can start buying tickets to enter. So we stood & sat around for about an hour before we got to buy our tickets. Once the tickets for Walk In starts selling, it was quite fast till it’s our turn to enter. Fyi, each ticket cost RM20 per person, it’s a day pass. 

Figurines

 Miku?! Sexy pose?!

 Vocaloid Girls!

 Black Shooter Character. Nice Gloves :3

 Black Shooter Characters.

 Black Shooter's Main Girl?

 Forgot what anime jorh. :3

 So dramatic.. I must say it's a good shot. xP

     Inside the convention centre where Comic Fest is held, the whole place is separated into 3 sections. Exhibitor Area (A place to showcase certain figurines and a market place for anime stuff such as clothes, accessories, posters, pillows, DVDs and so on). Creative Art Market (A place where people from everywhere come to sell their artwork or handicrafts). Stage Area (It is the performance, competition area and events place).  

     My friend and I walked about exhibitor area for quite a while to do some ‘admiring’ at expensive stuff sold at Comic Fest. I managed to buy like 2 posters, 1 ring, 1 keychain and some badges. O.o We just kinda walk past Creative Art Market and see only, wasn’t really that interested. I think I spent the most time at the Stage Area. There was kinda band singing and the cosplay competition. The MCs’ were so funny but bad at the same time, they kept making fun of everyone. I guess that’s the way they entertain people?

 Random Cosplayers.

 Cosplay Competition Contestants.

 Contestant of different anime & cartoon characters.

 Me?! Are you calling me?! O.O *happy face*

 Jack Frost... Is that a girl or guy? == I think it's a girl... :x

 All i want to say is just.. Miao :3

 Nami and Ghost Girl from One Piece!

 I have no idea what anime or cartoon is this, but looks good. :3

  Sawada Tsunayoshi's Vongola Ring, also Cold-HeartedMe's latest ring. 

     Apparently, the Event Highlights were Creative Factor, Video Games Competition, Creative Art Market, Mirai Kopitiam, Cosplay Competition and finally Special Guest Appearance which is Bless 4. I didn’t stay for the last event which would be Bless 4 performance because it was getting late and we haven’t had our lunch yet. We ended up walking around and I took pictures of random cosplayers walking by just for the thrills~

     Overall I would like to say, Comic Fiesta 2012 was a FUN and NEW experience for me. Something to remember and learn from..though I’m not sure what I can learn from it besides seeing people. xD

   

Never Too Late

19/12/2012 – Wednesday

     I was and am a fool. If only that was a joke, I wouldn’t be in despair right now. The reason for my despair is just my foolishness and nothing more.

     Every time when I go for a ride, I’ll always happen to pass by her area. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, hoping to see her coming out from there every single time because I have no idea where is her exact location. I remember there was once when she told me to meet up with her and talk in reality, face to face, instead of that wretched virtual world that has been a barrier for me to reach her. I went overboard with my plan that eventually back-fired on me. I realized that I was sacrificing myself for nothing but I didn’t know that I couldn’t endure the consequences.

     Ignorance is so simple yet effective but deadly… Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘too lost in love’? I haven’t, but that’s probably because I was the one who did just that. I was too lost in love with her as she is somewhat PERFECT for me. My negative mind keeps reminding me that a guy like me have definitely no chance for a girl like her. I was blinded by myself because little did I know, that I had a once in a lifetime chance to be with that girl.

     Never be a fool like me and never doubt yourself for what you can do because if you condemn yourself, then nothing will ever go right and you’ll regret the results for life, till your very last breath. Remember, you are never too late till you realize.

     Why must I make things so complicated? Why must I love to live in a dramatic world? Why am I so weird? Why?

     I could have done what others did. Comfort her, encourage her and stuff like that. My life would have been much happier that way and things would have worked out for once. Why? Why did I use the hard method to change her when she if fine the way she is?

     Why..? WHY? WHY?! WHY?!!?!?!?!!?

This Is My Life

First of all, I do not own any of the songs above.
Okay that's done.

Anyways, this is my holiday's for fun project.
I was too bored and decided to do something, so this project was a way to kill my boredom.
It took me days of work.
Writing out the script, travelling from place to place, taking the video, editing and publishing me.
Editing was seriously a pain the neck because the Windows Movie Maker keeps crashing before I even have the chance to save my work, causing me to keep repeating my work.
It was fun as this is my very first time producing my own video.
Self-Production, I everything by myself as nobody support me.

The girl actress is my senior. She is the only person who helped me with my video. Before this, Shu Yen(classmate, blogger and friend) also agreed to help me. Thanks. ;)
Originally, my senior was the girl I had in mind for my video but she is always busy so I didn't asked her first.

So anyways....
Anyone with any questions or comments, please go to Youtube and comment below. :D
Do like and share if possible.
Hopefully, there are no negative opinions. xD

This Is Me

Horribly huge grammar mistake, if you notice. ;)

12/12/2012 – Wednesday

     Born in an average family, my life should be clear-cut simple. “My life is so completely complicated”, that is what most people would think and I wouldn’t exclude myself from that statement. Every complication has AT LEAST a solution, and that solution varies differently depending on the individual. “How does your mind work?” That represents the way a person thinks and how they solve their complication.

                Simple, average and sophisticated type of person, which type of person are you? Obviously everyone would think their life is so complicated, making them sophisticated but are you so sure about that? Even if you are so sure about yourself, but this world, this reality, does not agree with each and every one of us except for only some people. That was considered a fair opinion, agree? Anyways, I should have been a different person from who I am currently. A loathsome and disregarded person, a demon, that is who I am right now to many people.

     Like I stated above, I was born in an average family. Normal parents who are strict and loving, a little odd yet caring sisters, stable in finance and the same to every average family except there is me, the rebellious son who is an eccentric person. “Have you ever heard of this statement before?” ‘Every family has at least one black sheep in the family’ I think the black sheep (unfortunate persona) of my family is no one else but me. Pathetic and disgraceful, even I view myself as someone to be hated or worst, pitied. 

I was a normal child once, so I’m not anymore. To be more precise, I was more of a brat for a child. I demand for everything I desire, always hot-tempered and throwing tantrums was like a hobby to me. Playing and having fun, that was my purpose in life then. I never cared for anything and definitely anyone at all except for myself, I live solely for myself. Being human and having a conscience, realizing things and growing up was what changed me. I became different when my age stroke 13.

     My mind maturing, the same as everyone else around me, I began to view things differently. The way I think becomes so odd and strange, the new thoughts are unknown to me. I changed drastically when I learned to control myself. My anger, my sadness and even my happiness, I learned how to render them neutral. Only certain days would I break down due to the sadness or anger accumulated inside of me. I fear myself when any one of my main three emotions goes out of control. My main three emotions would be happiness, sadness and anger.

 The blogger, working at da park. xD

     Happiness, a feeling which everyone enjoys, long for and fight hard to achieve. I fear it if I get too much of it. Why? I will become blind when I’m happy and I’ll be defenseless, anyone could crush it any time and the pain would be beyond unbearable. It’ll be excruciating. That is why I neutralize my happiness even if I do manage to achieve it.

     Sadness, it is a feeling which everyone tries to avoid. For this emotion, I too am the same. I normally just hide the sorrow in my heart and try my best to keep a smile on my face. That smile is my mask, a mask I worked hard for. Some people tend to just keep their sorrow inside them while others just burst it out, there is a difference. How a strong-willed cries and comfort themself while some others just cries in public and others starts comforting them. I fear it because being sad and ‘crying’ is overly pathetic, non-beneficial and only disgraces one self. Crying because of the sadness accumulated inside of us, what is the point? I honestly dare say I stopped that ridiculous actions known as crying for a long time but I must also admit that I cry when I’m at my limits. That is why I neutralize my sadness which I detest most.

     Anger, a feeling that is most uncontrollable, easily activated and most feared by some people. A feeling to just go out of control, rampage and destroy. This emotion, anger, is my most unpredictable emotion. The toughest emotion to control. Whenever I get mad with something or someone, I would want to crush things, destroy them. Over the years, I have learned to direct all my anger to hitting walls. So I won’t break anything but just hurt myself instead, at least I won’t be a nuisance to others. When I’m angry at someone, it is even worst. I have this urge of hurting others. Hurt them so badly that they will beg for forgiveness even when I’m stepping their heads on the ground. Given my physical capabilities and fighting skills which I have honed throughout the years, I may be able to perform it to certain people. Overcoming this emotion, I tend to just walk away and avoid physical or further confrontation to escape from my anger. I have been regarded as a coward MANY times by MANY people, but little do they know what may happen to them if I didn’t become a ‘coward’. That is why I neutralize my anger at all cost. 

Typing it in. :D

     Is it the right choice to use harsh methods for the right reasons to achieve the best results? Given that you understand the consequences, you are to condemn yourself in the end, will you do it for the sake of others? I discovered something new last month, after my rejection.

     To love a girl, to know that she keeps wanting to die and not be able to be with her. My world is cruel to me, I wanted to change that. I want her to enjoy living even if I myself want to suicide and most of all, I wanted to know her in reality instead of the virtual world we communicate in. There was this greed to want to be with her. After analyzing and planning, I have decided to use a harsh method, a method with enough motivation to change her. She is a girl who treasures friends like gold, so the method is simple yet effective. Ignorance towards her as I think I’m qualified enough to be her ‘friend’. Days, weeks and months passed by, I am growing weaker every single day. Who can ignore the girl or person they love? Even if I’m just communicating with her online or text, virtual world, at least I feel like I am with her. I love the feeling of being with her, it’s so… warm. Though my ignorance towards has been too long and that was my mistake, it backfired on me. I confessed, she rejected and I don’t blame her for giving up because I am to be blamed. Those days of ignorance, it probably hurt me more than it hurt her because I honestly do love her… She probably thought I was the selfish guy who got mad and left her, abandoned her but then, when have anyone been there for me when I’m in despair? *sigh* who knows, I don’t know what she really thinks of me after all.

     “Am I actually a good or bad person?” I tend to question myself some time. Some people thinks I am good and others thinks I am bad but I treat everyone equally. What they view of me is who I am to them. People believe what they think are correct, the right choice. I too believe what I think is correct but what if one of us is often wrong? There are no good or bad people, because both sides think they are doing the right thing, making the right choices and taking the appropriate actions.

     Am I a hypocrite or am I being sincere? I will not change the way you think of me because it is how you view of me, that decides who am I to you.  

(THE END)

Almost Next Chapter Of My Life

19/11/2012 – Monday

     My mind being dizzy, startled in my dreams, I awoke at 6 am hoping for dawn but the sun is sunny and risen already. “Jeez, the sun sure is eager today.”

     Today would be my last day for this year in Sandakan, my hometown. Unfortunately, I wasn’t all that happy nor sad but grumpy on that day because of the dream of *ahem* her again. So once again… coincidentally, I had 2 different dreams of her.

     One dream shows that we were just fooling around. There was one scene that happened in the classroom, though I don’t remember what happened. The other scene takes place in a house where she’s showing her sweet nature and stuff like that. I thought I’d heard her voice, that unusually cute voice…
 

     The second dream… wooohoo… it’s a nightmare to me. =_= While I was hanging out with one of her friends, we saw a dog that seems like hers. Unsure, she led me to her house to return the probably lost dog. My friend cycled while I ran while carrying the dog. Her house that I dreamt of of was odd… made out of wood, 2 entrances and each consists of 2 rooms. One room was entirely hers while the other consists of kitchen, bathroom and others. (Reality : She lives in an apartment or something similar to it) Anyways, her mom was the one who answered our knock. All I could remember was that her mom is quite tall, long hair and surprisingly young though I have never met her mom in real life before. When I handed over the dog, she just “Owh yeah, this is my dog.” The dog throttled along her as she just heads back into her room resuming on her television program without another word. My friend just looked at me, shrugged, then joined her.

     *Cling* Glass shatters and alone I was in the darkness. The questions starts flowing in.. Who is she? What is she like? Where will she show her dark side? When will she act differently? What other secrets are yet to be uncovered?

     As I awake, I just scratched my hair and shrugged.. “It’s just another dream..” I realize after I go back to Selangor today, my whole life will have already evolved once again. Done things I have never done before, said things I have never said before  and felt feelings I have never felt before… I’m almost stepping into the next chapter of my life.

     Come world…Offer your worst, dish out everything you have on me. Screw me up, make me cry and treat me so badly that I’ll be on the verge of insanity. Allow me to learn to fear you..

     Beaten down, worn out by the world itself. Thus, allowing me to grow even more. Evolution, let me realize more things, understand them and conquer them. I’ll be even more crazier, ruthless and obviously different though I prefer using the word ‘extraordinary’.

    The following year… is going to be a FUN year. ;)