18/04/2013 –
Thursday
“What should I get for her, what should I
get for her and what should I get for her….?”
This
question has been on my mind since the start of the month, April. I’m talking
about a birthday gift or present or whatever you like to call it. I didn’t
bother about anyone else’s birthday so far, even I didn’t bother much about my
own birthday but for some reason her birthday is like stuck in my head. :o I don’t know why but I just felt like I really
want to give her something even if she never asked for it or mention it at all.
Anyways, I had several ideas actually. My
first idea, I actually tried to learn making chocolates from my sister. My
sister once made a whole bunch of chocolate with words engraved on it, I
thought it was a pretty neat idea but unfortunately, sis didn’t want to teach
me because she hasn’t ‘mastered’ the art of making chocolates yet. ==…
That leads to the second idea which would
be baking chocolate cupcakes for her. Complications tend to occur, my baking
skills aren’t that good yet and I want something I can do best for her. Think about
it, if I wanted to give her fresh cupcakes.. it won’t be easy coz I can only give it to her in the morning in school
and that means I’ll have to wake up like midnight to do it.
*Sigh* Another idea goes boom~
Days and weeks just slipped by and yet I’m
still completely fruitless. >_> I was like…”maybe I should just give up,
greet her and be done with it since it’s the same whether I do anything or not.”
Give up…..till
one night. An idea just pops up while I was half-asleep (I think a lot before falling
asleep = reason for my insomnia). I know what I want to give her! Thus, Project
My Heart was born. xD
All
my feelings, experience and thoughts, what describes best for all those things
was my heart and not my brain. I can’t feel with my brain, I can’t appreciate my
experience with her through my brain and especially thoughts, it’s always
negativity with my brain. So I decided, my heart that will never betray my true
feelings was the best gift I could think of.
Back to the project, well it’s pretty
obvious that I can’t just grab my heart out from my chest and give it to her.
Then that leads to my next question, what should or can I use to represent my
heart? O.o Cardboard was the first thought but then It would be crushed/crumpled
easily and all since it’s quite fragile. Since I’m Cold-HeartedMe, should
something transparent be more suitable? “Transparent….Glass…? How in the world
do I cut and mold glass?” Plastic doesn’t
fit quite well too..
At last,
wood, alright maybe it’s not transparent but it’s solid enough to last and I’ll
just make do with what I can actually use. I was reluctant at first because I
totally had no idea how to do ‘wood sculpting’ but in the end I just “Oh well,
it doesn’t hurt to try.” :3
Following questions, where do I find wood
and tools for the project? Coincidently, there was some wood at home I could
use for my project. It wasn’t the exact size I wanted though I had no choice
since I was running out of time. Her birthday is just days ahead! I bought the
tools, some turned out useless and started working on my ‘keychain-like heart’.
It was a pain figuring out how to carve something out a small block of wood.
The failed attempts were kind of irritating because I kept on breaking the wood
though somehow I managed to get the knack of it. The short blade was my most
useful tool. The cuts on my fingers were worth it, my end product was not ‘perfect’
but at least I was satisfied with my failed attempts, broken drafts and wood-sculptured
heart. :3
If you look closely, you'll see a line. That's the size of my wood-sculptured heart. The long block of wood became short due to the failed attempts.
“Oh wait, I forgot to mention something
important. Who is this girl?” Hm…it’s someone you should know (if you’ve been following
my post), she was my third love. J
One side of my heart is cold and the other
is warm but both sides feel the same for you. They want to protect and take
care of you. They may not know how to show how they feel but at least they’re
not fake. When you’re strong, I’ll support you and make you stronger. When you’re
weak, I’ll encourage you along the way and when you fall, I’ll be there to pick
you up and get you moving. :P
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.
.
.
.
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Hey, silly
girl. Happy birthday. :P I hope you enjoyed this anniversary of yours thoroughly
because I’m so glad that you were born and I’ve gotten to meet you. I don’t
know how I feel towards you now because all of my feelings are so mixed and
mashed. I don’t know why but no matter who you are with, no matter where you
are, no matter how you’re doing and no matter what you think of me, this part
of me won’t change. I want to protect you in any ways possible for me. It may
sound kind of cheesy but…. Just call out to me and I’ll run to your side because you
are my princess and you now hold my heart. >_<….
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