02/09/2013
– Monday
It feels so nostalgic reading back our old
conversations. It brings me to tears as I truly miss the time I once had with
her. One thing I notice, she either calls me an 80 year old man or a kid. It is
funny because I too call her an old lady or a little kid.
I am being childish. I was probably trying to
shorten the age gap between us but reality won’t change, she will be forever 2
years more mature than I am in terms of age.
“I really like the relationship between u
n me now. Friendship with a 80yr old man.” Hm…so am I an old man or a kid. The
answer is obvious. As much as I lie to myself, reality doesn’t falter because
it is harsh. I am just a little boy in her eyes.
I am aware that all I’ve said till now is
childish. I understand that my desire to chase after her, making her my
motivation and so on, sounds immature. It sounds like a little boy desperately
chasing after a mature girl and that is rather cute, in other words, pathetic.
That may all be true but… If this is the
reason that could make me successful, be the best and beat the rest in the
future, is it really that childish? Am I really immature to think of it this
way? Am I on the right track or is this just a child’s wishful thinking…?
What is
right and what is wrong, the journey that lies ahead of me will be my answer. I
am 17 and in about half a year’s time, I would be 18.
Who will
I become then?
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