That girl from my class.

Different people meeting other different people, an encounter meant to discover.

27-02-2012 – Wednesday

Girls, girls are everywhere in this world. They come from different backgrounds with different personalities and bla bla bla.  Anyways, which TYPE of girl interest you most?

     “What in the world do I mean by TYPE?” If that’s what you’re probably thinking right now, I’ll just give a few examples. Girls who are happy all the time (Smiles non-stop every day), kind of creepy too me since I’m somewhat the opposite. Girls who are overly popular (tons of friends and attention), girls who are outstanding (excel in all sorts of stuff but not necessarily popular) and quiet girls (isolates themselves and mind their own business).

     For me, I would be most interested in ‘special’ girls. I don’t know what category they fall into but I’ll just mark them as special. The feeling is different when I come across those girls but it’s rare because they don’t appear everywhere. I am an odd guy so it’s odd for others to understand what I meant by special girls.

     Special girls…. When I look at them, they will automatically stand out from the rest, different from all other girls. Some special girls have immediate effect on me, it’s like instinctively I’ll know they’re different while some other special girls takes time for me to figure out whether they’re different or same to everyone else. If I make eye contact, well, It will be easier for me to know. The feeling of their presence is also different. Imagine yourself in a world where everyone has auras, normal people would have white aura while special girls will have gold aura.

    “How do I compare special girls to other girls? Well, I can’t really explain because it’s all based on feelings and instincts.” It is kind of rude for me to say that only certain girls are special when all girls are special in their own way though this is a different case. Normal girls with ordinary personality are boring to me, not a single spark of interest would build in me.  I would be friends with them, even best friends but I won’t ever be interested in them.

     Special girls, that girl from my class, she is one of them. WM. Currently, there are few other girls that I noticed in my school stood out from all other girls in my school but as I am unable to observe them, I lost interest too since it’s not worth the effort. She is my classmate, a friend who I have not spoken to verbally before and yes, she is special to me.

     Before this, there was another girl from my previous school whom I marked as ‘special’ too. Her name is Stela and she was once my classmate then I transferred. Hahahaha.. Anyways, Stela was somewhat similar to WM since they are from the same category (my reference of category). Their personality is the same but obviously their interest differs. Personality! It is the personality I am interested in!

My classmates whom are girls.

     For Stela, I’ve only spoken to her few times before during my 3 years of studying in the same class with her. She is polite to me yet cold at the same time. In the virtual world, she’ll reply me the necessaries and ignore me after that. She loves writing and reading all sorts of novels, she clearly stood out from all the other girls in my previous class. By the way, I’ve gotten to know more about through her close friend (bus mate with her close friend).

     For WM, I only spoke to her once since last year till now. We’ve been in the same class for roughly a year already. She ignores me in any way possible and obviously cold to me. In the virtual world, she used to reply short messages and ignores me though there is improvement now, she chats with me for a while then starts ignoring me. :3 Hm… I don’t really know her, I don’t know her interest nor her life stories.  Just by my feelings and instincts, I marked her as ‘special’ and different from the rest of my other classmates (my perception).

     The 3 chapters of ‘love story’ in my life…. first girl was ordinary to me, second was special and the third was unknown till now. First love, ah…such memories, she is ordinary, no explanations needed and I have totally no idea how I fell in love for 2 and a half years. Second, my senior, she was and will still always special to me till now though something unfortunate happened… Third girl, the one I gave up on just about 2 weeks ago, I have no idea what category she falls into. Is she ordinary like all other girls or someone special?

Wouldn't my life be great if I interact with someone of the same kind?

     Back to topic, this morning I just had a very short and funny encounter with her. We had to take picture for our library card. As I was walking past her, I called her name as a sign of greeting. No reactions from her. When I got home, I found out the reason. She said I was disturbing her as she was preparing herself for the picture. The funny thing is, she wasn’t afraid of a bad picture but instead, she was nervous of everyone watching her as she takes her picture. “How cute!!!”

    WM is emotionally composed, elegant and have a soft lady-like voice. The way she walks, her voice, the way she thinks, the feeling around her and especially the look in her eye, they are all so different from other girls.   Although she is not fond of me…at all..I think.. She is still special to me. I don’t like her as a girl but I’m just interested in her, that’s my feelings for her. I cared for her even though it was none of my business but now, I don’t care for her because it is not of my business. WM is an independent girl, she would live on even if I never existed in her life, so she has all the rights to not bother about me. What difference would I make? I’ve just been through a tough chapter of my life, so I’ve pretty much lost interest in ‘love’ right now.  

     These days…I feel as if I’m the same as everyone else… I feel so ordinary, it is so boring to be normal. No difference, no drama.  

     “When did I become so emotional? When did I start caring so much? What happened to me?”

She changed me… I feel as if I’m a better person than before but I also feel as if I’ve killed a part of me because of a girl. One part of me, that difference is what makes me feel as if I am different from other people, as if I am in a different world. My neutral feelings, I can’t control them anymore, I start laughing, I start crying and I get mad from time to time.

     “What happened to the person I once was?"