Enough with your 'Puppy Love'

29/03/2013 – Friday

      I’m pretty sure most of you these days have seen or heard about people complaining about their love. It’s too obvious because it’s too often till you are sick of that person because he/she keeps on posting on Facebook/Twitter and other social media about their love life.

Seriously, what is love? What do you understand about love?

     I’ve seen, heard and known people. People who so called ‘falls in love’ just by sight, a single encounter or a month’s time. Just something so simple and yet they manage to call it ‘love’. Those type of people confesses and fortunately starts dating, and unfortunately ends up breaking up within 3 months, max. When they are in relationship, they’ll keep on posting stuff like “Oh, I’ll love him/her forever. He/She is my soulmate and stuff like that.” But once they break up they’ll blame on the other side like “He/She is the worst person ever! He/She broke my heart! And nonsense like that.”

     In the end, this process goes on and on for countless times. They ‘fall in love’ and break up as if it’s a weekly routine. I’m sick of this nonsense! If you’re going to disgrace the word ‘love’ then at least do it in silence instead of telling the world how much the other person has hurt you! For the people who does this sort of nonsense, have you ever wondered if you’re the problem? You have dated 20 guys/girls in within 5 months, are you sure the 20 people are meant to be blamed?!

     I am no dating expert and honestly I have NEVER officially courted anyone before but here’s my opinion. Sincerity, trust and tolerance are pillars to a relationship.

     Sincerity. For guys, don’t just look at the girl whom you think is attractive and say you’re in love with them already, don’t just confess to the girl when you don’t even know a damn about her and don’t ever bother saying ‘I love you’ if it comes from your mind when it is supposed to come from your heart. I’m curious, why do you want to be in relationship with a girl just because you THINK you’re in love with her? Why? Just so you can be with her? So you can own her? Think about it and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know what you need to do. I am a guy too so I understand the difference between what we DESIRE and what we NEED also what are our ROLES and RESPONSIBILTY. Wake up, stop screwing around and make your next girl, your last.

Dear girls, I bet you all know so well what in the world ‘sincerity’ is but guess what, many of you don’t. You look at some hot guy with talent and you’re already calling him your husband.(Example, KPOP fans) That’s pretty desperate you know? You get distracted seriously easily, some girls even treasure their idols more than they treasure the people whom are important to them. Will those idols of yours protect you and take care of you? Will they? Stop spamming to the world of how much you love your ‘boyfriend’ and go show your boyfriend that you actually love him instead. Those girls who dates at least 3 guys in within a month, are you sure that’s called ‘love’?

     Trust. My fellow gentlemen, don’t just expect your ‘girl’ can trust you without you assuring them. They will need your constant assurance so that you don’t frickin do anything stupid. If you don’t want a girl to bug you all the time, then tell her that she can trust you and make sure that you can be trusted. If you’re just dating her for her popularity or coz she’s just pretty, then I’d advice you to go get a life because ‘love’ is no joking matter. This world will crumble if we humans don’t ‘love’ it, we all will die a horrible death. Concept is the same, so prove your worth and make sure you can be trusted.  Do not leave your girl doubting you because for sure, your world will crumble if she leaves you.

For some of the girls out there, I’m sorry to say that you are torturing your own boyfriend. You may think that you’re just constantly checking up on your boyfriends or dominating all his time to make sure he isn’t spending his time with some other girls but do you know you’re slowly making your own boyfriend sick of you? I understand that you ‘love’ him so much that you would not want him to taken away from you but some of your methods may seriously sickening. Respect a man’s personal space and privacy. He needs his time to enjoy his life! It’s okay to ask him spend his days with from time to time but expecting him to attend to you 24/7 is like asking him to jump off the building for you. You’re asking for too much!!! He needs his time to relax, play some video games or have some man time with his fellow men. If your loved one tells you that you can trust him, then do some investigation or experiment to prove is worth and be done with it, not control his whole life! By the way, don’t give nonsensical excuse such as “If he loves me, he’ll do this. If he loves me, he’ll do that.” That’s just asking to be dumped.  

     Last but not least, tolerance. I believe that many relationships broke apart because of the lack of tolerance. The couples may sincerely love each other and trust each other but if they can’t tolerate each other’s flaw, they are bound to separate one day. Why are people so selfish these days? We always think of ourselves first, even in a relationship! We just think of our importance, our own needs and desires! We’re supposed to think of the boy/girl we love first!

 Hey guys, the girls who really love you may overdo things sometimes but you just have to remember this, they did it because they love you. Let it go sometimes, just forgive and forget but if things are totally utterly out of hand then just give in.

Guys are supposed to protect and take care of their girl, not hurt them. So be tolerant and never let things go out of hand because if you fall, your relationship with the girl you love falls with you.

    Especially to the girls out there who thinks they are right but when in reality they are beyond wrong and yet refuse to accept that they are wrong, hear this. Your jealousy level is very hilarious, you know? You see your boyfriend chatting with 2 girls and you’re already accusing him of cheating on you though you’re chatting with 10 other guys yourself. “They are just friends.” Isn’t it the same excuse for the guys? How valid is your logic then? You boyfriend doesn’t bring you out on dates, maybe he’s broke because he brought you out on dates too many times, maybe he is too busy, possibilities are endless. If your request is reasonable and he is just some douchebag, then just dump him because he doesn’t worth your time.

Seriously, I hope I don’t see too many. “I love him/her so much, he/she is the love of my life. “ Then “Get out of my life, you broke my heart and betrayed my love!”

When your ‘love’ is nothing more than lack of attention because you’re weak and unable to live on your own. So for those people who does all this nonsense, don’t say I’m some kind of bastard for accusing you of having ‘puppy love’ because reality slams you hard, your love is immature.

We don’t love because we want that special someone to love us and pay attention to us.

We love because we want to protect and love that special someone.

Don’t just expect because we give more than receive when it comes to love. That is love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I found this from my bible and I think it’s very meaningful. :3

Epic Week

22/03/2013 – Friday

     This has been an awesome week! After Animax Carnival ended on Sunday, it’s back to the usual life in school. Let’s see, I got demerit by my teacher for about 10-20 marks, my friend and I somewhat reunited again and I managed to interact with some of my buddies back in hometown.

     Honestly, I’m so excited to get my driving license. It’s just few more weeks before I can start my driving lessons! I seriously hope I manage to get my driving license before I return back to my hometown. >_< I feel like I’ve grown a lot this time when I’m going back to my hometown in June. The feeling of going back to my hometown as a 17 years old guy with car and superbike license, reuniting with my friends and exploring my own hometown by myself is awesome. xD

This guy's carefree and 'laughs at just about everything' personality is somewhat similar to me. xD 

     Anyways, back to my current school. Ugh! I had somewhat an argument with a teacher last week, It seems like the teacher seriously did not like my ‘stand for my own rights’ but that is not important because somehow I managed to get myself out of this. Oh my, you won’t believe how much drama I spilled in the teacher’s office. xD Persuade some ‘important’ teachers and with some skills, this would just be a small obstacle to me. Muahahaha!!! xD

     The best occurrence for this week would be probably, the silence between my friend and I finally broke. After all sorts of awkward situation and stuff, I feel like it’s finally the stage where we go back to stage 1. It is as if nothing happened, no hard feelings and no nothing. Everything has reverted back to how it once was and how it should be. J I am more than satisfied to be able to keep her happy and safe in any ways possible. It has been a long and painful silence but at least it has finally vanished.

Bonds made naturally. 

     Last but not least, I reunited with my precious hometown friends. Even though we just interacted through cyber space, I guess I’ll still consider it as reuniting. All those sweet and fun memories I had with them, they came flooding into my mind. The jokes we had, the laughter and the bond, nothing can break us. xP

      Chan Chau Man, a pretty girl from my class whom I’ve known since F1. I couldn’t stop thinking of her when my friend(girl) mentioned about shooting games and horror movies. She loved those stuff and it’s kinda awesome yet scary for me. xD  My brutal honesty have hurt her feelings and made her cry before but in the end, all was understood and forgiven. I do apologize for making her cry though.. >_<  

     My First Love….Hahaha, It’s been quite some time since I’ve last chat with her and fortunately I had a great time chatting with her this week. We kind of talked of the past, present and future. How nostalgic! At least, there are no more hard feelings between us and I just love the way we are right. Neutral and happy. :3 The thing is, she always thought I’m joking with her from Form 1 till even now!!! It’s 5 years already, girl, you should know when I’m serious and when I’m not!!! xD The most disappointing for me would probably the moment when she thought I was joking when I confessed to her during Form 2. >_<….But....she said she regret that now. “Omg!!! That made me really happy in a way. xD”

     So to sum it up, I had a great weekday even if my test results weren’t so satisfying but still…I hope the weekends would be even more awesome!

     Almost forgot to mention that K-Project entertained my week nights during this week. My favourite character in this anime would be the Blue King. xD 

Short Story - Pass By

18/03/2013 – Monday

     I was among the crowd of people, all so busy with their lives. As I was slithering through the crowd, I was trying to escape and seek for freedom from this ‘sea’ of people. I saw a sight that captivated my attention, I was so drawn to it that I lost sight of my own objective.

     I stood there among the crowd, staring at a girl. As if I am  just a statue, the crowd kept on moving and moving as if I did not exist. She was there by an exclusive watch shop. I caught a glimpse of the prices and it seems only millionaires could afford those prices. The girl was wearing something simple, nothing complicated and nothing too simple, her long hair was finely straighten and her eyes were sparkling as she was adoring those extravagant watches.

     The look in her eyes were unimaginably captivating. It’s unlike a girl who found her true love nor a man who found gold but it’s more like a young innocent girl who has gotten her first toy. The sparkle in her eyes were…, words could not even express how it is. It’s just insanely amazing.

     I wanted to speak to her, even though she is just another stranger to me. Her eyes were still so mesmerized by those objects which only millionaires could afford yet I walk away as if I it would just be another memory for me.

     I walk among the crowd once again, moving on with my own selfish life.

-          Based on a true story      

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia : Day 2

17/03/2013 – Sunday

     Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia, today would be the second and also last day of event for the year. I didn’t arrive as early as I did yesterday because I had church service. By the time I reached to the event area, it’s already the 4^th contestant for the Animax Carnival Cosplay Competition.

     Anyways, today’s event is opened to public and the crowd is equally insane as yesterday. For the cosplayers, there are new cosplayers whom attented today, some of them cosplays the same outfit and some of them cosplays different outfit. For the photographers, well…I only recognized a few so I don’t really know.

The main event today wasn’t as exciting as yesterday. It’s the cosplay competition. There are about 13 semi-finalist(they won through the internet) , 8 finalist and 3 winners. The contestants’ few minutes of performance to catch the judge’s attention was dancing, singing and drama.  

One of the judges.

Lastly, here are the cosplayers and my comments section : 

 Lucy Heartfilia from Fairy Tail. It was an okay shot, I guess.

 This girl...well, she was very popular at that time. All the photographers showed no mercy and snapped away as she kept on posing for 'us'. 3:)

They looked like a nice pair so I couldn't resist asking to take a couple picture for them. Benefits me though.

 Okay...All I can say is, the guy/girl on the right kinda creeps me out.

 As I was roaming the crowd, a 'cute girl alert' came over me. So I quickly rushed over to snap a picture. I think she is cosplaying as Yui from K-On. Well, I'm not sure.

 Another pair shot I took. Strangely, the guy was better at posing than the girl.

 Oh yeah, this girl is awesome. She was like a doll! The mass of make up must be incredible. Oh and her poker face, It sticks to her for awhile. Couldn't even get her to smile.

 Well, it's just a 'pretty girl alert'. Walking past and snapped a picture.

 This shot wasn't bad especially since I used flashed.  The background + her dominating pose is suiting.

 First thing that came into my mind when I saw her, a huge box of Chocky!!! I think she'll look better with a smile but she just kept on using her poker face instead.

 Gotta give credit to this guy, his outfit does look pretty awesome. Oh, I would rate him the best male cosplay for today.

 The emo character, nothing much to say about it since. Her looks and the outfit does match, emo-ness.

 Asuna from Sword Art Online. It's odd, it's such a popular character and I've only seen one person cosplaying it!

 Oh, there's a story behind this one. Suddenly a huge crowd of people was excited, so I slithered my way and came here. Guess what? The guy proposed to his girlfriend, like, right in the picture and in their cosplay outfit... In this picture, they're about to kiss and yes I did take a picture of them kissing but it wasn't a good shot. Awww...so sweet, oh well, I wish them good luck with their marriage life.

Tifa! There are a few people cosplaying it but I only managed to take a picture of this girl cosplaying Tifa. She looks completely like a doll and she was seriously popular among the crowd. She just stood there for about half an hour because the crowd kept on coming to take a picture of and with her. 

Once again, she would be my favourite cosplayer for the day but since the guy above (arrows pointing the dude) spoiled the whole picture, I had to edit the picture into this :

Since my objective is to make her shin from the crowd, I had to darken the whole background and ESPECIALLY covering a portion of the guy's face. There you have it, a lost kitten in this 'sea' of people. There are so many people around yet it seems like only 1 person exist, this was my vision.  

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia : Day 1

16/03/2013 – Saturday

Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia, today would be the first of the event! There are 2 days in total, today and tomorrow which would be 17/03/2013 (Sunday). I had to go early because my friend kept pestering me to go early because Audrey’s (friend of ours) group is going early.  Initially, I went to the event with guy and since his brother is driving us, I’ll just have to follow according to his schedule. =_=

     “Jeez, I don’t see him that spirited when it comes to school.” Anyways, by the time we reached Sunway Pyramid Blue Concorde, it was about 8.30 am. The queue is about 20 people long. It was quite boring because nothing was happening and my friend kept on complaining about our friends’ groups being late (we have 2 groups of friends, 3 including the 2 of us).

Honestly, I wasn’t bothered about it because I’ll end up running around myself, taking pictures and waiting for May’N performance. So yeah, It doesn’t make a difference to me whether they show up or not. 

     The event started on time, 10.00 am sharp and the people starts rushing into the ‘happening area’. About 10 minutes after I went into the Blue Concorde, the place is already packed! There are 5 booths inside the happening area which would be the Body Art, Photo Studio, Wanage, Daruma Otoshi and Syateki.

     Body Art is sticking a tattoo and I meant just a tattoo. For Photo Studio, you can make up, dress up and take picture. Wanage would be tossing a ring into the bottle, it’s like ring toss just that the name is in Japanese. Daruma would be, hitting the bottom of a whole stack of block and it doesn’t fall. Finally we have Syateki, you shoot balls with a toy gun to knock a bottle down. I sucked in all those games which means I lost all of them….even though they were so simple….

May'N!!!! 

 Photographers, so threatening. 

The vast crowd.

     After that, it’s all about the main event of the day. Live performance by May’N in Animax Carnival 2013 Malaysia. She was the main reason I attended today’s event, I wanted to see her performance with my own eyes! She sang 4 songs though I only remember the name of 2 songs, Chase The World – Accel World and Kimi Shinitamō Koto Nakare – Shangri-La. She first sang to songs, the MC had an interview with and continued with her other 2 songs. Her ‘appearance’ ended after the photo taking session and autograph session but overall I really did enjoy her performance and totally did not regret skipping school for this.

      Last but not least, my second main reason for attending Animax Carnival would be taking pictures of cosplayers. I circled the Blue Concorde so many times that I lost count just to take pictures of cosplayer. My method of taking would be…”Oh…some people taking pictures over there, I should join in too.” :P So most of the it would be stealing shots and just a few times, I actually asked personally to take a picture of the cosplayers.

Here are some of the cosplayers and my comments :       

Well, nothing say much about this picture. (Stolen shot) I just think they are both young and okay?

 Jack Frost! I think I've met this guy in Comic Fiesta before. Anyways, the best part for his cosplay would probably be his hair and staff.

A mixture of ice and gun power.... How romantic? O.o

Well for this girl, I think the flower really brings out a difference. A gothic look but has combined with  nice reddish flowers.

 Hm...for this guy, what really brings the most out of him would be his huge sword. I'm a fan of huge swords and that huge sword seems well made, good job bro.

 Ah...a captain classed shinigami, for the guys, I think he got my highest rating for today.

 "Oh a cute girl!" I quickly slithered my way through the crowd and hopped over there to take a few shots because she looked cute at first sight. Lols.

 I like this pose, it looks ...how do I put it... Demanding? O.o

After taking 2 shots, she just abandoned her post but she did looked good. :3

 This would most probably be my favourite shot of the day because it shows a smile hidden by the gun. *sniff* I can feel the picture. Lols, not much though.

This picture is more well-taken than the above one but it just looks like another pose to me. Oh yeah and thanks buddy, thanks for being such a horrible background there. == (The guy who looks like he is doing Oppa Gangnam Style dance)

First Love

10/03/2013 – Sunday

     Once again, the memory of my first love has returned to me. I have been quite busy these days as in studying, playing games, working out in the gym and some other stuff. My mind was quite preoccupied with all these things and for some reason, all these sweet memories of her awoke in my mind.

   

     I believe in stuff like First Love. It may sound childish but who cares, It is my way of thinking. First Love, It is something special to me. My definition for it would probably be the first person I have truly fell for once upon a time. 2 years back, I had wished that my first love would also be my last but I guess it didn’t work out. xP

     The short, cute and specs girl. Who grew into about my height, cute and specs girl. Big changes, maturity have such impact for us teenagers. I think I grew up quite a bit too but I probably don’t notice it. :3 Anyways, she was the classmate and friend that I loved for 2 years +.  We started off as friends, slowly it grew from an interest to liking and finally love. People say teenage love is immature or known as ‘puppy love’ but are all teenagers like that? Think again.  

  She made me smile whenever I see her smiling or laughing. Every morning when I see her face, she was my motivation to improve myself. She was the first one who coloured my black and white world into something more colourful. :3 I bet she didn’t know but I always wanted to hug her whenever she starts crying and be the one who shoulder her sorrows.

     All the sweet memories, I always feel touched when they dominate my thoughts. The sweet girl who always laughs joyfully with her friends in class and cry over small reasons (well, small reasons for me anyways). The sweet memories turned into bitter memories. I had gone through my state of depression as I was suffering every single day and night because of being away from her. The feeling was the worst compared to all others.

     The situation always remains the same for me, I shatter for someone else but that someone else doesn’t even feel a thing for me. I told her that she was my first love not too long ago and she told me in return ‘I liked her because of my curiosity.’

     “Ha! I don't think I 'loved' you for 2 and half years just because of my curiosity.” With that, she changed topic. :P Back to topic, I felt this new foreign feeling because of her, learned how to stand up after I shattered and move on. First Love is like a lesson, a memory and a single time experience. :3

     Oh well, time passes. People change and so do feelings. What was once exist is now extinct. :3 

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I found this from my bible and I think it’s very meaningful. :3 

The 4th chapter. An even crazier chapter which won't be coming so soon. Estimation time, about 2 years time or more? 

What did I want?

07/03/2013 – Thursday

     “What is it that I want?” This question is so very familiar to me. My friend is facing love issues. Her situation is all so similar to mine few weeks back. She is in a stage where she longs for a guy but could not reach him, gets jealous of other girls because they interact with him and does not know what to do with her life.

     Once you know what you want, you’ll know what you need to do. It was an advice I gave to my friend but it was also something I couldn’t solve.

     “What did I actually want from her?” I also had a hard time seeking for answer to solve that question. I seriously did like her, love her actually even if I don’t know the true meaning of ‘love’, but what did I want from her? Is it a relationship? Is it her attention? Is it her love in return?

     “What were my answers then?” To move along with my life, I kept on pestering myself to answer the question. My selfishness would sometimes say, I want to love her and her to love me back in return (A relationship). Sometimes I’ll say a life of future with her, take care of her and protect her. Finally, I’ll answer. I want her to be happy, no matter who she is with, no matter where she is, what she is doing, what condition she is and whatever happens. 

     My final answer was, I want her to be happy all the time and enjoy her life.

     With that question solve, I knew what I had to do. I had 2 options and I took on both of them. One is to win her heart back and make her happy myself. Second, give up. Unfortunately, I obviously failed the first one and surprisingly failed the second one too.

      “She is so popular, so many choices, why choose me?” I have no progress, I wasn’t able to do anything and the timing for my plans was not right. Thus, I failed for my first option.  

     Giving up, so easy to say and do, then why wasn’t it working out for me? I kept myself busy, kept on telling myself to give up and move on but I end up falling for her even more. I realized, the time I forget about “I want to give up on her” is the time when I’ve really given up on her.

     In the end, someway, somehow and for some unknown reason, I gave up and forgot the feelings that I’ve held for her once upon a time… I guess fate showed that we were not meant for each other~ 

To my beloved friend, I’ll say this one more. Once you know what you want, you’ll know what you need to do.