Amnesia

Those memories.... i have just been holding onto to them...
It's about 10 months since we last met and almost an entire year.
I have never missed anyone as much as i miss you...
I feel stupid though.
Holding on to false hope even though i know there no hope.

I wonder why am i doing that.
You and i told me to let go, forget those unnecessary memories.
Yet i tend to keep remembering them back.
Every single time, as i was about to ignore and forget all the thing between us.
A dream would pop out and make me think of you non-stop...

It's making me so depressed everyday...
I may not show it...but inside...i'm think i'm crying everyday...
Like a puppy missing his master...
Or a heart beating without a reason...

\I don't know what's so special about you actually..
Your nothing special, compared to many girls out there..
But i'm still going crazy over you.

I told you i love you, miss you and all sorts.
Even if you told me you can't do the same for me.
I still continued doing that for some unknown reason.
It's really a stupid thing to do....

I hope....
Maybe one fine day, an accident or mishap happened to me...
Put me into amnesia just about you?
Forget that i know you, forget everything about you, forget everything that happened...
Instead of me disappearing, wouldn't it be easier if i just got amnesia?
Life would be more relaxed...less stressful...no unnecessary depression~

The fact that we're separated by the sea?
You're not that far actually...
But i feel as if your in another world...
Unable to reach, unable to meet...unable to touch...

Some day when i'm totally sick of this world already,
I would probably raid a police station or anywhere with REAL deadly guns.
Point it to my head, pull the trigger and die an instant yet merciful death.
That day doesn't feel so long to me...
End this meaningless life of mine.
I'm meaningless to this world anyways...
I have no reason but doubts instead for living.
I curse instead of bless for being born and alive.

It's like what some people in the show say.
Put you out of your misery.

So, i'll probably put myself out of misery too....  someday.....