Everlasting Memories .....

My very first day of secondary school life.... is a life i enjoyed in SMJK Tiong Hua....

I made a new friend by just sitting next to him.

From the first day we met, he already started talking crap(lies) with me. =_=

2nd day of my Form 1, a very fresh new beginning in my life where nobody knows me or my hated past.

After for so many years of schooling, i was placed to sit with a chinese girl.

I was not so used to it but......

Remember......

'That Was The Very First Time We Met'

From then on, my life in school started to shine brightly.

The first friend that is a girl i made in that school was you.

Everyday i teased you.

Everyday i annoy you.

Everyday i disturb you.

Everyday i make you mad at least once.

And.......

Everyday i chat with you.

Everyday i enjoy my day with you.

Everyday we share our life experience.

Everyday we share jokes with our friends until our stomach hurts so much.

Everyday i laugh with you......

Remember.....

The time you got angry me?

You stopped talking to me because i'm so annoying.

I wasn't intentionally, i never want you to be mad at me.

It's just that.... i don't know how to communicate with you besides annoying you...

I don't have much experience with girls but i want to be close to you so much....

All of us grew together, we're 14 now....

This is the time when we were apart.

You began joining your own group of friends as i am joining my own group of friends.

We met in tuition together,

Remember......

This was the time i hated you.

You started to changed......

You was noisier than before,

Cried like a baby probably more than before,

Ignoring me more than ever,

Changing into the ever childish girl i've ever known.

I despised you, walked away from you and thought your just a burden to this world.

In our final year together, we grew to the age of 15....

I think i have made a bond with everyone close to me already....

Especially you.....

Remember.....

This was the age when we stopped talking each other...

This was the time when we didn't bother each other...

In real life.

'BUT'

This was the time i started looking at you,

This was the time i started to want to care for you,

This was the time i kept looking out for you,

This was the time i tried supporting you,
This was the time my heart beat for you,

This was the time i fell for you....

This year 2011, I grew attached to you.

The time we SMS, we chat.

Those were all meaningful to me.

Their not just messages you send to me and forget about.

You even shared your secret with me.

Do you remember?

When you was sad, we were chatting.

You finally told me that you had a crush on someone...

Suddenly, my whole body and mind froze for a moment.

My heart felt like it broke into a million pieces.

I stopped crying for many years but for that single moment small little tears dropped....

The hot tea cup that i held tightly, i couldn't even feel that it was hot....

But....

All i could do was support you,

I can't be selfish,

I tried to cheer you up.

I even hoped for you to be able to go out with him.

Because,

I just want you to be happy,

And seeing you smile is everything to me.

When i see you cry.....it hurts me too even if i don't show it....
When you smile... it relieves my heart and makes me smile too...
When your scared.... i wanted to protect you so very badly....
When your troubled....i want be there to hold you tight and comfort you....
I couldn't do it.... all of your friends...they were all there for you....
I could just stand back there where you wouldn't notice and care for you from my heart.
I realized i'm such a coward, what i want to do most but i didn't dare just because of my firm pride....
I want to reach out to you but i....just...i.....  

Ending,

I'm leaving....

I made you hate me,

Forget i even existed,

I'm sure you'll get over my betrayal in just a matter of days,

Just stay strong and happy as you are. 

                                         
                                           'Confessions to you who don't even know it.......'